A Clean Shave
by A.Violet.Butterfly
Summary: After two years of being a big gay beard, it was time for a clean shave and a new man. AkuNami :On Hold:
1. Two Years

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Chapter 1: 

Two years! Two whole years. 730 days. 730 nights.

For two full years, I have been a big fake beard. A pair of ridiculous novelty glasses with a rubber moustache attached; a mask; an alias; a wall to hide behind; a shutter covering a window. A woefully unconvincing disguise.

I have been Sora Hikari's girlfriend.

I really should have heeded the signs. I mean, the boy could dress. He could sing like an angel. He watched chick flicks without complaint. He understand why I was crying, even if it was for a stupid, silly reason (i.e. washing my brand new red skinny jeans with my favorite white sun dress, effectively ruining it). He could dance like no one's business. He could melt the world with a smile. He could stand to go shopping with me without kicking and screaming. I know, I know, I'm getting my eyes checked asap, cause I just might be going blind. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

And he was so sweet! So fun to be around. So easy to talk to. So easy to fall in love with…

No. I don't love him.

…

Who am I kidding?

I have tricked myself into falling for a gay man.

Though to be fair…he wasn't even aware that he was indeed gay when we got together.

Or well, at least…Not consciously.

So we had our two years. Our two wonderfully fun, fast, amazing years. Two years of laughing and making love and dancing and pure blissful exhilaration. Two years with my best friend, and the closeness only best friends could have.

I thought we might be headed for marriage. In the far off future…but still.

Until we met Riku.

That silver haired beauty of a man with the most breathtaking aquamarine eyes I have ever seen.

I don't blame either of them. Love can take anyone whenever it pleases, and that's exactly what it did to Riku…and Sora.

I just had the misfortune of being in the way of love's plans.

I had been the one to break it off. I knew Sora would never leave me. He would have stuck it out till the end; bought me that house in the suburbs, sent out nauseatingly adorable family Christmas cards, mow the lawn on Sundays. But I didn't want him to live in pain, and I didn't want to live a lie. So I told him that we would still always be the best of friends, and that I wanted him to have nothing short of a perfect and happy life, and that I knew Riku could give that to him.

I told him I'd be fine.

I lied.

And now here I am.

In my lonely empty flat.

In my lonely empty bedroom.

On my lonely bed. Crying out my lonely empty heart over my best friend, my ex-boyfriend. A future I'd never really had and would never know.

He left me the apartment, the TV, the stereo, the furniture, the fish tank, and virtually everything we had ever bought together, except for our cat, Franz. That thing really loved Sora, and I didn't have the heart to separate them. I was really more of a dog person.

He didn't need any of this stuff. Oh did I not mention? Riku is loaded. Like seriously.

It's obscene how much he's worth.

So, now I live in this empty place with all the things that remind me of our two years. The crappy couch with the mysterious stains on the underside of the cushions we bought at a shady yard sale (Sora had punched a guy who got handsy with me at said yard sale). The entertainment center we spent two Saturdays building together, both helpless when it came to anything technological or dealing in construction. The street sign from our first residence (we stole it as a memento, nearly got caught too). The bathtub we had soaked in when we felt…romantic. The rug with Sora's blood on it from when he tripped over the threshold of the door (I had spazzed out…). The creamy white walls we had painted when we first moved in (and the shirt that was covered with the same paint because of our pain war). Now the silence pressed in on me. It was suffocating; maddening. The mocking echoes of distant laughter echoing off all the memories, and slamming back into me.

I know he felt bad for leaving me (in every sense of the phrase), and I had spent all the energy I had left in my numb body (and then some) trying to convince him that I was just fine. That my heart wasn't shattered with the pain of loosing him, that I wasn't dangerously dehydrated from all the pity parties I'd been partaking in, that I was not at all sad, but just filled with happiness for him. And I was happy for him. I was incredibly happy for him. He had found happiness and security and love, and I could never dream of being the one who kept him form that. After all, I really did love him. Painfully, with all my soul, and so I had to let him go… Even if it meant that I would suffer.

A beard didn't suit him anyway.


	2. Sanctuary

_Chapter 2_

It had been three months since the end of mine and Sora's two years, and I was not doing as well as I pretended I was.

I had been steadily loosing weight. And sleep.

I was a little frightening to behold. A hollow whisper of my old self.

Sora and Riku had been visiting their families in the Destiny Islands and Twilight Town (mine and Sora's home town…Well…at least I don't have to be there when people put 2 and 2 together and realized that I'm now alone…and the guy I spent two years falling in love with is quite…happy) for the last few days, so I had stopped bothering with my appearance. I've mostly stayed in my room watching sad movies and staring futilely at the white walls. Blinds open to allow the sun to spite me in my gloom. I've bitten my fingernails to the quick (I stopped when they started to bleed). The circles under my eyes are a deep violet shade. I haven't brushed my hair in a couple days…letting it dry whichever way it pleases when I step out of the hot turned cold showers I periodically stir for. I've been wearing the same grey v-neck shirt for about a week (one of the few items Sora overlooked when he moved out all his things); I'm not quite sure where my pajama pants went… I assume they're still crumpled up on the bathroom floor from when I took my last shower. It's been awhile since I've been outside. Unless you count the walk from my front door to my scooter (yes, I ride a scooter, I'm environment cautious).

I don't like leaving the house. People who know me stare at me. They know I'm withering, even when I put on my best and most exhausting of façades, the 'Everything is perfectly fine! I'm just dandy! How's the wife and kids?' façade. But I have to leave to go to work. I have to pay for stuff… Plus it keeps me from loosing it.

Routine. Routine. Routine.

About two weeks ago, my boss insisted I take some paid time off.

Apparently, I'm a horrible liar.

* * *

I don't really know why I answered the phone in the first place. Usually I ignore the phone. Letting it ring and ring and ring until the machine picks it up.

I blame sleep depravation. I had been dreaming. The lucid sort of dream where you're not really asleep, that's all I really managed now a days.

Something about the beach when I was in high school… Around the time that I had met Sora. We had been out in the waves… Surfing I think… We were laughing, then a wave crashed over us. When I resurfaced, I no longer had my board, and I was wearing that white dress I accidentally died a sickening pick color. Sora wasn't there anymore. No one was. The sea was vacant, and so was the beach. I swam to the shoreline. And I heard vocalizing. A monotonous rather irritating sound of a voice repetitiously singing out the same notes. 'AaaaAaaa…AaaaAaaa…AaaaAaaa…' I looked around for the source only to see a large shell. I picked it up and held it to my ear.

"…Heeeeeeeello? Naaaaaaaaminé? You there?" A voice sounded. I wasn't on the beach. I wasn't holding a shell.

"…Kairi?" I responded, my voice a faint cracked whisper. I was in my room. Halfway hanging off my bed with the phone pressed to my ear.

"OH MY GOD! Naminé, FINALLY! Geez, I've been trying to reach you for forever!"

I said nothing.

"…I'll get out there as soon as I can. Okay Nams?" her voice was soft.

I felt tears stinging my eyes again. "Thanks, Kairi," is all I chocked out.

* * *

As lonely as I was, when the day of Kairi's arrival rolled around, I couldn't help but dread it just a little.

I loved my big sister. We were very good friends despite the age difference and distance.

But… I was a mess. I didn't really want anybody to see me as I was now, but I wasn't too keen on fixing myself up either, so I decided that if it was just Kairi, I could remain as I was. Even if what she'd see might horrify her.

So I moved out onto the couch and stared at the fish tank, waiting for her to knock so I could let her in and I could scare her by crying on her shoulder for the remainder of the day, and then she'd get me to laugh, and we'd make cookie dough and eat it all before it ever got near the oven, and we'd watch something funny and uplifting (Friends maybe?) and then we'd go to sleep, and I wouldn't think about Sora for the rest of the night, and tomorrow we'd go someplace mellow, probably the beach and I'd be feeling ten times better, cause my big sister was magical like that.

* * *

Kairi was late. By the time I registered the sound of banging at the door I realized I had been dozing off again.

Weird… Kairi usually rings the doorbell (it's hard to see, so only people who know its there ring it). I roused my self from my prone position nearly toppling over because my leg was so twisted up in the sheet I'd been snoozing under.

I dragged myself to the door. Feeling all the pain fist in my stomach. Everything I'd been hiding, all the scars I'd glazed over flaring up, all the secret insecurities abandoning the dark corners of my mind. I felt the sting in my eyes and the pressure in my cheeks; the sobs were in my throat, threatening to explode off my lips. I ran the last few steps to the door and seized the knob, flinging it open and immediately pouncing on the person on the other side, arms anchoring around a set of familiar slim shoulders.

I couldn't suppress the racking sobs that were making me shudder unconsciously when a pair of thin arms locked around me almost instantaneously.

I really was a mess. I was shaking and crying and hurting and I didn't care. I didn't care that I was scarring Kairi, I didn't care that I was only wearing an oversized t-shirt and my underwear, I didn't even care that there were two people hovering just outside the door, looking quite taken aback and unsure. I had been pushing it all down for months. Hating myself for all the tears I had let seep through despite my determination to remain strong; but now, I was done with that. I was ready to let out all that horrible, soul crushing, mind numbing, heart breaking sadness that had wound itself in to my very core, dictating my life, controlling my thoughts; I was ready to get it all out of my system. I wanted to be happy again.

I felt my knees give out underneath me. Kairi staggered a bit before righting herself, both of us clinging to the other, Kairi struggling to support my weight. I heard her voice, soft and soothing. She was speaking to the two people I assumed had come with her. I heard a low response. I didn't know what they were actually saying. I couldn't make it out over the sound of my own sobbing.

I vaguely noted that one of them walked past us into our… my apartment, pushing the door wider. Then I felt another arm around my shoulders, and another pushing my knees inward. My legs were swept up and my body was now horizontal. I was being carried (at a great height). I refused to let go of Kairi, twisting around in the arms that held me and leaning down so that my arms remained firmly locked around her shoulders. She didn't seem inclined to let go either.

We moved inside and after a short while of what I assume was rather awkward maneuvering (I was adamantly holding onto Kairi despite being held bridal style by someone else), I was set down on a soft surface, the couch I think, and Kairi was sitting beside me.

There was another exchange of low soft words between Kairi and the two who had followed her. One of them leaned towards us and kissed her on the forehead, and then the two disappeared out the front door, and I cried and cried and cried until I fell asleep on Kairi's shoulder.

* * *

When I awoke, I felt much better. Not physically of course, my eyes were sore and my throat ached, actually, my whole body ached; but I felt… almost peaceful.

I wasn't on the couch anymore. I was in my bed, my warm soft bed, and the blinds were shut. The room was dark and the door was left ajar. I heard voices coming from the heart of the apartment. They were soft, but cheerful voices, it was soothing. Waking up to find I wasn't alone. I think they're laughing, and I could smell something delicious from the kitchen.

I pushed myself onto my elbows and listened intently. Two voices were getting farther away…heading for the door? One was Kairi…The door opened, then shut. Silence.

I thought for a moment. Then decided that I wanted some of whatever smelt so damn good. When was the last time I ate anyway…? Eating made me feel like crying. Most things did as of late.

I briefly contemplated searching for my pajama pants but if no one was here, it didn't really matter. So I got up slowly and trudged to the kitchen hitting the stereo on the way. Music uplifts the soul. And for now, The Cure was going to uplift my spirits.

I really was feeling monumentally better. Amazing what a good meltdown and a comforting shoulder can do for a girl.

The music was infecting me. My hips were compelled to swing, my knees complied, shifting weight, my arms moving artfully about my body, my tangled mess of golden hair wiping about with the movements of my neck and shoulders. I danced my way to the kitchen, feeling the elation of the rhythm rocking through my body.

I pushed the door open and immediately spied the source of the delicious aroma which had enticed me from my oh so comfortable bed. Waffles. But not just normal 'leggo my ego' toaster waffles, no, these were Kairi's made from scratch blueberry and chocolate chip waffles (don't knock it, they're delicious). I could very well be salivating right now.

I made a victory whoop and dashed towards them, allowing the scent to satisfy my olfactory sense. I sighed contentedly and all but skipped to the fridge in search of apple juice. I swung the bulky white door open and bent to pull the plastic bottle from the inner shelf, still dancing like no one was watching.

Unfortunately, someone was watching. FML.

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	3. Axel

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**Chapter 3:**

I heard a masculine laugh sound to the left of me. I whipped around, slamming the refrigerator door shut.

My eyes met a well formed man's torso clad in a plain olive colored v-neck tee, a fashionably plaid shirt hanging open off two toned slender arms. My glance shot upward into a pair of eyes that were so green I could keel over on the spot. The eyes were full of mirth and laughter and…something else…

Wait. Head out of the clouds Naminé! Who is this? Why is he in my apartment? Is there a God? Is he in my apartment? Wait, wait, wait…An intruder? A strangler? A rapist? A reality T.V. show host? An assassin? A gorgeous assassin?

A spitfire of romance novel dialogue worthy of Nora Roberts pulsed through my brain.

"Gasp! (That's me.) What are you doing here you handsome and mysterious man?

'I was sent here to kill you. But it seems I've fallen in love with your tantalizingly unkempt appearance and surprisingly seductive sub par dancing skill. They drive me wild with the scorching passion of an overheated cooking sheet fresh from the oven.'

I would blush in a maidenly way here, a hand over my quivering lips.

'I always thought my only lady would be the sea…But you mi'lady…I must have you!'

'Then take me now sailor!'"

Don't ask why he's a sailor.

No… That's probably not it. One of the people who came with Kairi! Yes! I vaguely remember cherry red spikes over her shoulder when she first got here.

He laughed louder. I had been staring. Well gawking. But starring just sounds a slight more dignified…

"You alright there? You got quiet and really still," his smile could make me go blind. Like an eclipse. Better not look directly at it. "What? No more dancing?" He began mimicking my dancing. I was never much of a dancer.

The full situation sunk in right then.

I had entered the kitchen with no pants, dancing like no one was watching…with no pants on…to find a gorgeous Apollo-like god of a man whom I had yet to officially meet…who had only previously seen me balling my eyes out…over my gay ex-lover…without pants…and now…we were standing here…me without pants…I've yet to say anything…he's laughing at me…and I'm still pants-less…

Bring on the crowds of laughing school children 'cause this is a nightmare.

In less then 2.3 seconds, my face went from sickly white to flaming red.

I forced a laugh and attempted to force a smile (I think I only half succeed at that one…). "Well…if you'll excuse me…I'm going to go ahead and begin burrowing into the earth. Lovely…chatting with you. Lets see, I should be in China by midnight," I croaked out in my currently raspy, sore voice (rather akin to a female Louis Armstrong). I tired to step around him but he stopped me, arm quickly pulling me in by my waist. If it was possible, my face brightened several shades. His hair had competition.

He laughed easily. "Oh come on, I'm only kidding! I loved your moves! Don't leave on account of me, have some breakfast, Kairi made it special for you," he wiggled his eyebrows as he began guiding me to the kitchen table. I had to smile.

His forearm easily fit across my back and his grip was firm and warm on my side. I tried in vain to pull my oversized t-shirt farther down my thighs, but it remained quite short (damn Sora for not being taller!). My stocking-ed feet were sliding all over the place (damn my obsessive cleaning); my legs were a little wobbly (damn muscular atrophy). I tried my best to remain graceful but when my foot slipped from under me I fell directly into him, hands shooting out reflexively, fisting into his shirt. He caught me in strong arms (what nice arms he has…). I didn't look into his eyes, but smiled apologetically at him before straightening up again. He allowed me to move away only a little and we finished the trek across the kitchen with him all but lifting me, my feet barely taking any of my weight as they slid across the slick tile.

Seriously, there will be a movie about my perilous journey across the linoleum someday.

He practically placed me into the chair. He leaned in and flashed me a smile before turning around. He smells fantastic, like a bonfire at the beach and laundry detergent with just a hint of apple cinnamon thrown in (trust me, it works).

He began staring at the cabinets as if willing some sort of communication to emerge from their mahogany depths. He brought a hand to his chiseled jaw line and narrowed his heavily lashed eyes. "Hmmmm…"

"It's the second one to the right," I supplied.

His eyes widened as he regarded me. The color began seeping into my cheeks again. "What's that?" he asked.

"The plates. They're in the second cabinet to the right," I explained.

That dazzling smile formed on his pale lips once again, reflecting in his impossibly green eyes. My heart was clearly not satisfied with its location in my ribcage, as it was repeatedly slamming into it, as if vying for escape. He went to the cabinet and brought down a plate, heaping several large waffles onto it and grabbing utensils from beside the stack of appetizing deliciousness. He placed them in front of me along with the syrup.

I felt the smile on my face. I beamed at him and set to work on my waffles.

*****Many Waffles Later*****

I let out a contented sigh.

It's really too bad that Kairi got all the fantastic domestic skills and I got…Well…I can make toast.

That is a lie. I burn everything.

But really, the woman is amazing.

You see her and think, 'oh well, there is great potential in this one to marry rich and never lift a finger'. But no. She gets to be pretty and domestically talented. She's like the perfect woman. She's nice to look at, charming, and she makes fan-frickin-tastic sandwiches.

I mean all of this in a loving way.

Really, I do.

It must have to do with our mothers. We have the same dad, sure, but our mothers couldn't be more different.

I should also mention that Kairi isn't a mindless bimbo. Just to clarify. Cause girl got some opinions, and we are all entitled to them.

Even when we haven't asked…

Anyway. Back to the matter at hand.

Me. Sitting in this traitorously clean kitchen. With a previously full plate of scrumptious home made waffles that now looks as if it were ransacked by greedy waffle pirates laying in front of me. Across from the most studliest stud of a stud-muffin I've ever seen, who is looking at me with a somewhat ambiguous expression, something between amazed and absolute terror (my eating habits often inspire such a look, though I've never seen it look so sexy…). Oh. And have I yet mentioned that I am lacking pants?

"Well," I perked up at the sound of his smooth baritone voice sounding out. His was the kind of voice that made me feel as though I was sitting on a deserted beach. Not lonely, but calming…His voice was even and full; and I wanted to listen. Oh crap. I should be listening. He was looking at me. Damn…

"Hm? Sorry, I was…Uhm…Thinking about…time shares," I finished lamely.

Naminé Lockhart-Snow: Awesome at improvising.

He made an amused, questioning face before the corners of his mouth surrendered to a grin and a lopsided laugh. He looked down.

After a moment of composing himself he looked up at me, keeping his chin down, that grin still clinging to his lips.

Take me now sailor.

"I was just saying how amazing your appetite is. I can't think of anyone quiet so small who can devour quite so much as you," there was laughter in his words.

Mmhm…keep talking. Wait, what?

Insert blush here.

I laughed nervously. "Sorry, I forgot to put on my manors. I haven't had much company…as of late." Silence. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! When did feelings decide to bring themselves up? Dangerous territory! Back track! Back track!

We ended up speaking at the same time.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CHIMERISM?"

"I'm so sorry that you've had to suffer."

Silence. Guess which one was me.

He leaned back, hands loosely griping the table, arms extending, he shook his head. "Uhm…What?"

Cover this up Naminé! Chimerism? Where in the hell did that come from?

"I said…How do you know Kairi?"

He didn't look too convinced, but thankfully he didn't pry into my wayward comments. Seriously, I've got to work on that.

"Oh. We met at TTU (that's Twilight Town University). We were in the same culinary class last semester and we have mechanics together now." He leaned back unto the table, hand cupping his chin.

Ah, 'that I were a glove on that hand…'

"Mechanics?" finally! A less then mortifying response!

"It's like auto shop."

"Ah…What's your major? I assume it's not design merchandising (Kairi's major)."

"And you would be correct in that assumption. Though I may yet discover a passion for fashion if my career choices don't pan out." I laughed. Good. It sounded semi normal. "I'm majoring in music, classic guitar. But I'm actually training to be a fire fighter."

Okay. I've found the perfect man. He cooks, he's musical, and he wants to save orphans from burning buildings for a living.

Take me now sailor.

"I would say I'm impressed, but telling the truth before I really know you seems a tad risky."

He smiled. Oh dear lord…pure sex.

I blushed. Man, I'm like a broken thermostat today.

I snapped to attention. I was lacking a rather important piece of information.

"I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name…?" I let the sentence draw out.

"Axel." He said, smile still in place.

Axel. I've got it memorized.

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**Okay, okay…the last line is full of cheese, but I so could not help myself.**

**A bit of a dry chapter, but before the fun can ensue, I must have our dear Axel and Naminé meet!**

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**moonlight-on-grass, Bijouie, iVanillelay, coobearrocks, you all get 10 points for making my day! ^^**

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**EDIT: Nothing big, just took out the part about Naminé's and Kairi's family. I'll get to that later...**


	4. My Poor Karma

**For your reading pleasure, I present:**

**Chapter 4:**

The universe has a way with allotting my karma.

And by that I mean, the universe frequently chooses to send the negative vibes my way.

I thought my two years with Sora had been the universe's way of apologizing for all the horrors it had inflicted upon me in my young life.

We all know how that ended. Damn you universe.

There must be someone in the world whose life is bloody perfect. They take all the good vibes. Damn them to hell.

They can meet up with their good friend, the universe when they get there.

My reason for bringing this up is simply that I am currently despising life. Again.

It all began with a little conversation the night of my pant-less conversation with Axel…

_We were all sitting around in the, I guess you'd call it the living room of mine and Sor-…my appartment… By 'we', I mean myself, Kairi, Axel, and Kairi's boyfriend, Demyx._

_We were having a good time. Playing childish card games and inventing drinking games for them (for instance, Go Fish, became go drink…then every time you drew a red card you drank…then every turn you took a drink…so on and so forth)._

_It felt good to be with people again, even if my heart still felt kind of cold and stiff._

_After a little while (and a great deal more alcohol then necessary) Kairi turned to me, "So Naaaams." I looked over at her. She had her 'serious' tone on. I knew it even though her voice was light and conversational. "I was thinking…With you living here by yourself and all…" I tensed._

_I could practically feel the color drain from my face. I felt lightheaded and nauseous, like I had just fell through an icy lake surface into freezing water, but I continued listening. I was going to have to get used to it…right?_

_"…Maybe it would be good for you to move closer to home. TTU is still accepting applications you know." She held my gaze very firmly with her own._

_I finally broke the stare by looking down._

_"I'll think about it," I replied. My voice was tight. I had thought about it._

_It was quiet for a moment._

_"You should totally go to TTU! You'd love the people there, and you already know some people on the inside," Demyx winked at me. I smiled. I couldn't help but smile at his bright personality. He was an optimist. Kairi smiled at him too, warmth in her violet eyes._

_That look hurt my heart. It's the way I used to look at Sora._

_"You'd dig TTU. They've got a pretty awesome art program there. Ha! I win!"_

_I looked around to Axel who was grinning down at me with flushed cheeks. He threw down his last card._

_Butterflies._

_I laughed a little. "I promise it is under my consideration."_

I really had thought about moving. I was torn though. I wanted to get out of here, away from the stares and the pity and the memories, far from the misery and the loneliness (though I supposed those last two could easily trail me).

But I wanted to stay too. For the past. For the memories. For the familiarity. For the almost.

I had thought of leaving, though to be honest, I'd never really thought of moving home. I'd always envisioned myself somewhere foreign and fabulous, far from whatever life I'd led here. I left home for a reason. I left my home town for many reasons. I wondered if going back would cause more problems then it solved, or if it would solve anything to begin with, I hadn't exactly left a bunch of neatly tied ends when I took off with Sora… Far from it actually.

At any rate: fast forward three and a half weeks of passive aggressive brow beating and persuasive arguing, and Kairi's approaching departure (Axel and Demyx left after 3 days much to my chagrin), a plane ride stuffed between Kairi and a large, rather mysteriously scented young man with Goth rock blasting from his earphones and a crinkly chip bag in his grubby hands (did I mention I do not dig flying?...or mysterious scents for that matter), a drive from the airport with all my things crammed into the backseat of thee shadiest cab I've ever seen (T.V. cabs included), a hectic weekend of heaving furniture and heavy cardboard boxes into a teeny dorm room, and a hell of a lot of paperwork and admissions forms, and here I am.

Living at and attending TTU. In Twilight Town.

I'm honestly not sure how I feel about it.

* * *

I breathed in slowly.

One thing I had really missed while living in Radiant Garden was the beach.

Twilight Town had a beautiful beach. I'd all but lived my high school summers here.

I was lying in the sun and on the sand, propped up on my elbows, breathing in and breathing out. I could taste the air, it was like salt and steam. I relished in the feeling of the hot, humid air filling my chest, stroking my throat, and stinging my lips. I adored the sensation of the sun's rays seeping slowly into my cold sun deprived skin, the feel of the sand sinking beneath me as I moved to lay flat. I took joy in hearing the smooth roll of the ocean waves scraping against the shoreline.

I could die happy in this moment.

"Hey," Sora called out. I looked up and there he was by the shoreline, a surfboard under his left arm. He smiled at me; I melted. "Come on!" He animatedly waved his right arm. I smiled and turned to grab my own surfboard. I got up and ran down to the shoreline. By the time I reached the waves Sora was way out in the crushing swells. He hollered at me, still smiling. I waved at him from the shore before plunging into the sea.

I stopped halfway to where I remembered him being and looked up. He was still waving and yelling a little farther then I had estimated. I continued into the sea. I was getting tired. I stopped where he should have been. I climbed up on my board and looked around. There was no one there. I couldn't hear the waves anymore. I heard only my breathing. It was loud and overpowering, pushing against the sides of my skull. I grabbed at my head.

Another yell. I looked back to the distant shore. There was Sora. Waving at me, lying on the sand. No. Not me. Riku. He was behind me. The me on the beach. He was smiling for Riku. Laughing for Riku. Calling for Riku.

"Sora!" I called. He couldn't hear me.

And then Riku and Sora we're together at the shoreline. The sunlight glistening off their sea soaked skin. Sora smiled and dropped his board. Riku took his face in his hands and kissed him.

I was drowning. No on could hear me.

"…-iné! Nams!" I awoke. "Wake up Namikins!" Kairi chirped.

"Mmmmm," I threw a pillow in her general direction.

"Come on grumpy pants!" Yes, I have pants on now. "Time for the beach!"

Oh right. The beach. Yay.

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**I sincerely hope you enjoyed this installment!**

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	5. Beach Day

**Sooooo, since the last chapter was a smidge shorter then the others, I decided to put up the next one today! Enjoy my wonderful readers!**

**Chapter: 5**

All terrifying, heart shredding, soul crushing nightmares aside; I really do love the beach.

Especially the ones near Twilight Town.

Especially Station Tower Beach. So named for the view it affords of the town clock tower when you climb on the rock formation that encircles a smaller bay area which sits directly juxtapose to the flawless white sand beach. When you climb up there, everything around you is beautiful. If you look out, you can see the vast cerulean ocean, the beautiful beaches, and on the clearest of days, you just might catch a glimpse of the distant Destiny Islands; and if you turn away from the spray of the crushing swells, you can see Twilight Town's breathtaking skyline, featuring the rather prominent and ornate clock tower. It's the perfect blend of urban and natural vistas, but it is often found to be rather inaccessible, as it requires quite a lot of physical exertion and coordination. It's my favorite spot in the world though.

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"Naminé! Come oooon!" Kairi stamped her manicured flip-flop clad foot. She was standing expectantly on the side walk that ran along the beach. She looked down right adorable in her brand new two piece. It was a red triangle halter top with a wide band across her rib cage and a thin white ruffled trim running up the sides of the top and the bottom hem and red mid rise mock short shorts with two white buttons on the front at the left and right and the same white ruffled trim along the sides of the leg openings. She had on big white sun glasses, a delicate silver anklet with a dangling heart charm, and her hair was clipped up with a little white flower pinned in it. She was holding a large tote bag stuffed with sun screen, water bottles, an iHome, various snacks… and two towels.

Kairi was frustrated with me. She had taken my towel, and I was dreading leaving the safety of the shower stall I was presently occupying.

You see. I hadn't finished unpacking my things yet at my new place of residence. Meaning, I hadn't yet found my beach things which I knew to be residing at the bottom of one of my kitchen boxes (I'm not gifted with organizational skills). Meaning, I was borrowing from my big sister. Meaning, I was wearing one of Kairi's bathing suits.

Now, Kairi is not promiscuous. And I would never consider her slutty. But, she was more…confident in herself then I was. And I wasn't used to being clad in such a…shall we say, insubstantial bathing suit.

I was wearing one my favorite of Kairi's bathing suits (she had lots of awesome ones). It consisted of a white gathered retro fit bikini top with a strip of ribbon like baby blue along the top and a starched synched ruffle, the straps were narrow, and the little metal clasp at the back was a star shaped snap. The bottoms sat rather low on my hips so that my hip bones were clearly visible above the waistline. The bottoms were baby blue with little white stars printed on them; the sides were double string ties that I did not trust to remain tied (so I employed safety pins in reinforcing their unity).

I felt like I was wearing lingerie.

I had regained some of the weight I had lost so that at the very least, I could fill out the attractive swimming suit, but I felt exposed and uncomfortable. The air felt foreign and cold against the skin I wasn't used to displaying in such a public forum.

"Naminé!" Kairi yelled. I better hurry; she'll draw attention to us soon.

I grabbed my blue and white surfboard and took a deep breath in as I stepped out onto the pavement. I felt the blush in my cheeks.

"Okay let's go!" I hastily made for the beach.

"Wait! Wait!" Kairi pushed my board away from my body (I had angled it to cover my torso). "Oh my gosh Nams! You look so amazing!" She gushed.

I quickly shushed her and my face burned with heat. She smirked at me. Oh god. I just tipped my sister off to the fact that I'm embarrassed, big mistake Naminé.

She turned away from me and began speaking uncharacteristically loudly. "Wow Naminé! What a hot body you got there! I mean daaaaaamn, if I were a man I'd be all over that. Mmmhm!" I flushed deeper and pushed past her towards the beach. She wasted no time in pursuing me, all the while carrying on with the 'embarrass Naminé game'. "Hey foxy mama, that's one fine piece of woman right there."

People were starting to stare. I heard the giggles and whispers. I walked faster, breaking into an awkward run when my feet hit the sand (you try running in flip flops with a surf board under your arm).

I stopped about 20 yards from where the waves were lapping the shoreline breathing a little heavier then usual, Kairi right on my heals laughing her head off and gasping for air between giggles. I couldn't help myself. I laughed with her.

We set up our towels and tunes and lathered up with sun screen and just basked in the glorious sun for about an hour before I couldn't resist the sea any longer.

I stood up and stretched, then looked down at Kairi, who looked back at me expectantly. "I'ma gonna hit the waves," I explained, pointing with my thumb over my shoulder as I bent to retrieve my board.

"Oh wait," she rose to her knees and pulled her tote bag towards her, scoffing at the sand it trailed onto her towel. "Here," she said handing me a men's white t-shirt, "wouldn't want a wardrobe malfunction." She wiped her hands on her bathing suit bottoms in an attempt to remove the sand that had stuck to them because of the sunscreen remnants.

I blinked at her before grabbing the shirt. "Thanks." I pulled the shirt over my head and let it drop around me. It was way too big, practically a dress. I looked at Kairi with a raised eyebrow, she shrugged, "It's Demyx's," she lied back on her towel. I nodded and satisfied myself with tying it up in a knot.

"Right. See you in a bit," I waved back before heading for the ocean.

* * *

"Hey! I was just gonna tell you to come back. I'm gettin' lonely up on the beach," Kairi called to me as I walked the last bit of the ocean shallows up to the shore. I laughed, "Sorry! Haven't been to the beach in awhile, so I got a little carried away." I beamed at her. Surfing had a way of making me feel… elated. I handed her my board and pulled the elastic from my hair. I flipped my hair forward and shook it out before gathering it to the side and standing up straight again. I wrung it out as best I could and then unknotted Demyx's t-shirt and attempted to pull it over my head (quite a task, as it was practically fused to my skin due to the ocean water). I finally managed to remove the shirt and I shook my hair out again. A group of life guard trainees ran by at that moment. We got a few wolf whistles and cat calls. I blushed, Kairi smiled.

I took my board back from Kairi and we headed back to the spot we had claimed laughing and chatting. Kairi really was amazing, and her plus the beach had boosted my spirits considerably.

We lazed on the beach for a few more hours, reading trashy gossip magazines and people watching. Demyx showed up at about two and convinced us to build a sand castle. It turned into more of a sand mansion though…turns out he's like…mega talented at sand architecture. Demy loves the ocean too.

I had to leave. I really dig Demyx and all, but I didn't like being around Kairi and Demyx. They were totally, completely, head over heals, 'I'll die defending your honor!', in love. Every touch, every laugh, every look… it felt… intimate, like I was intruding awkwardly. It made the sadness stir within me, so that it began clawing viciously at my insides. They were making me think of him.

I put on more sunscreen and I excused myself saying that I wanted to stretch my legs (we had been kneeling in the sand for a few hours now).

* * *

I decided to go up to my favorite spot in the whole world.

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**Reviews and reviewers will be cherished!**


	6. Walk, Interrupted

**Please Enjoy!~**

**(I warn you now; there is a smidge of the sort of language you're not likely to use in front of your Grandmother in this chapter. I apologize if this offends anyone.)**

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**Chapter 6:**

Kairi and I had been lounging by the shore about three quarters of a mile from the imposing rock formation that afforded the magnificent view of Twilight Town, so I was in for a bit of a walk (made no easier by my bare feet and bare body).

It was getting to be later in the day, and the air was picking up a bit of a chill, but I didn't mind. The exercise would heat up my body soon enough.

What I did mind was how quiet the beach had gotten. Most people called it quits for the day after the swells died down to a gentle lull; and the miscreant bonfire cliques probably wouldn't be around in full swing for about an hour or so, so the beach was virtually empty of people, only a few groups scattered here and there, mostly just college kids setting up for afore mentioned bonfires and a few straggling families.

Ordinarily, I enjoy the serenity of a quiet beach (I have no patience for obnoxiously loud children, and even less for obnoxiously loud adults), but in light of my recent… dreams… I found it ominous.

I pinched myself to be sure I wasn't in for another nightmare.

A shiver flicked through my body. I suddenly felt the cold quite keenly.

I was within sight of the rocky formation that I loved so dearly. I let go of the breath I hadn't realized I was holding in. A sense of relief washed over me, I felt my shoulders relax a bit. My favorite place always made me feel calm, and I was nearly there.

A sound grabbed my attention as I moved towards the jagged rocks. First a clinking, like glasses being bumped, then low voices and laughter that was slowly growing louder, getting closer. I noticed I was near a makeshift fire pit in the sand closest to the shore which rounded in to the cliffs.

There were beer cans and broken bottles around it. The immature flame had gone out already because of the wind.

I quickened my pace.

"Oi!" A voice split the silence. I looked over my right shoulder. A group of boys about my age was approaching me. I felt another shiver. This one wasn't from the cold. My skin prickled.

"See man! I told you she'd be cute."

"I though for sure she'd be a but-her-face!"

"Hey cutie, what's your name?"

I turned forward and continued on a little faster. There words were slurred.

"Hey! Where ya going?" One of them, a rather built brunette ran up and cut off my path. He was standing too close.

He reeked of alcohol.

They all did.

He was grinning lecherously at me. His eyes roaming my exposed flesh with no pretense of civility or social etiquette.

I leveled my iciest stare at him. Seriously, polar bear habitats wouldn't be in danger if I turned my arctic gaze on them.

"Nowhere special," I did my best to sound calm and conversational, but it was difficult to produce sound around the lump that had quite inconveniently situated itself in my throat. I didn't want to talk to them, and I didn't want them to know where I was going. The looks I was garnering made me feel like I needed to shower.

My skin felt cold and clammy. I chewed the inside of my cheek. They were pretty much surrounding me now.

"What's your name blondie?" The brunette leaned in.

"Wanna come to a party?"

"Ya got a boyfriend?"

"I'll be your boyfriend," the brunette said closing the space between us. He tried to smooth my hair. I flinched back.

"Come on now. Don't get all shy now," he was quicker this time. His left hand pulled my waist into him and his right locked itself to my chin. He pulled my chin forward so I was looking up into his face.

A surge of rebellion ripped through my body. "It's not being shy if you don't want to be touched by a drunken idiot," I ground out, I felt the unwanted contact keenly where his skin pressed into mine. My nerves were alive and on fire.

There were jeering howls and cat calls. The brunette's eyes flashed with challenge, his jaw clencched. They were laughing at him. I began to regret my outburst.

His grip tightened. Then he kissed me. I made a sound of protest in the back of my throat. His friends were cheering and laughing. Apparently, they thought it was all very funny.

It was not a romantic kiss. It was not sweet. It was not enjoyable. It was cruel and lustful and crushing. I slammed my hands against his chest, trying desperately to push from him, but he was determined. His tongue slid roughly across my bottom lip. I scrunched my eyes shut and jerked back to no avail. He growled when I denied him access to my mouth and moved his fingers so that they were positioned at the hollows of my cheeks. He put pressure on the sides of my face, forcing my jaw to open with his massive callused hand. I whimpered as he managed to pry open my mouth. He took his opportunity and forced his tongue through my parted lips.

I tried to scream, but the sound was muffled by his disgusting, clumsy lips. He tasted of beer and cigarettes.

I kept trying to pull away, but his only response was to grip my jaw tighter. I felt tears leaking from my eyes.

His left hand travelled from the small of my back to my stomach, sliding up, then down…his fingertips slid just under the waistline of my bottoms. I panicked. I took an opportunity.

Without his left hand crushing my body to his, I could move away from his body, I could effectively use my knee. And I did. I kneed that son of a bitch where the sun should never shine and no woman (or man) should ever have to go.

He groaned and released my chin only to raise his left hand and backhand me across the face with it. Pain shot through my check. He had a crude, bulky ring on his middle finger. The kind you win for sports championships. I fell to the ground, clutching the left side of my face which was surging with pain.

"Freakin' man jewelry," I muttered under my breath. I scrambled up and tried to run.

I didn't get far at all before I cried out and tumbled again to the sand. My left foot was searing with pain. I looked down and saw a shard of brownish colored glass sticking out of the sole of my foot.

I felt light headed. My vision blurred around the edges. I didn't like gore. I didn't like blood.

The group of boys were still howling with drunken laughter. But the brunette wasn't laughing. He had recovered, and he looked pissed. He began closing the distance between us. I yanked the shard from my foot and attempted to continue running but the pain was excruciating. I fell back to the sand.

He was getting closer.

I shut my eyes and tried not to cry.

"Get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Her." I jumped. My eyes snapped open and instantly located the source of my savior.

It was Axel; my heart sped up even more. Demyx and Kairi were streaking up behind him from a bit of a distance, kicking loose sand everywhere.

He was stalking predatorily towards us, wearing a pair of sleek black board shorts and a loose red t-shirt that read "Peace". His brilliant red hair was tied into a high ponytail. His body was tense. His emerald eyes were stormy and terrifying. He was radiating rage and strength and power and authority.

"Axel," I breathed. Relief washed in over the panic.

I didn't say anything more. My voice became stuck in my throat.

I licked my lips, my eyes only for Axel.

The brunette sneered, too intoxicated to notice the danger and threat Axel was emitting.

"Who're you? Her boyfriend? Long haired fag," the brunette scoffed and rounded on me once more.

It wasn't so much a 'bam' or a 'whack' like it is in the movies; it was more of a great, sickening cracking sound. Like that moment metal gets sucked up into the gears of a vacuum before you can turn it off.

I blinked. The brunette was groaning on the sand, clutching his jaw, and sporting a bloodied lip.

Axel was standing in front of me, blocking me from view of the other men.

They weren't laughing anymore.

Kairi was bent beside me. Arms locked protectively around my shoulders. The glare on her delicate features surprisingly venomous.

Demyx stood flanking Axel. If I hadn't previously met him, he might have frightened me. His characteristic charm and effervescence had dissolved in favor of an ominous, malicious aura.

I hadn't noticed their arrival.

"Get the hell out of here you scumbags. And don't EVER get near her again," he seethed.

There was a low murmur through the group.

"You can take that with you," Demyx added, referring to my attacker as if he were a forgotten piece of trash.

Two of the boys inched up tentatively to the disoriented brunette and helped him up, cautiously regarding Axel and Demyx. The group then hastily retreated in the direction of the parking lots.

I knew I should be terrified of Axel right now.

He was radiating danger and bloodlust, but instead… I felt… safe.

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**Phew! I hope you enjoyed chapter six~**

**I'd like to thank iVanillelay for her kindness in mentioning my story in the preface of the latest chapter of her Axel/Naminé fic 'My life is simple LOL jk, you haven't met Axel'**

**Reviews are sincerely appreciated! I value your continued patronage. ^^**


	7. I've Had Worse

**Chapter 7**

Axel turned something over in his fingers as the group of men scurried away. It glinted in the light. It was the brunette's ring.

I touched gingerly at the spot it had struck on my face. Another shock of pain ripped through my body all the way down to my toes. My foot was throbbing. It was still bleeding. I let my breath out in a hiss.

Axel turned around to me, concern immediately overpowering his features which seconds ago had been full of wrath and dangerous intention.

Kairi was beside herself with worry, perhaps as close to tears as I was. My head was turned to her, but my eyes remained on Axel.

"Naminé, I'm so sorry! I should have come with you… I should've known you'd want to come all the way down here! I was just so distracted! I feel so awful. You could have been… Those bastards could… could have… I mean…I…And I insisted you wear…THAT! I'm horrible! I'm so glad you're okay. I'm so so s-" her voice caught before she could continue babbling on. Her words sounded strangely muffled to me, like I was listening to her with a great pillow pushed over my ears… I tore my eyes from Axel's to look at her.

She pushed her palms into her eyes and took in a shaking breath.

When she opened her eyes again they were shining and lined red, but she seemed to have found her resolve and composure.

I felt dazed. I stared at her. My brain was still trying to sort out what had happened exactly and all her words had basically bounced off of me. She was wearing an oversized black hoodie and cut off short shorts over her bathing suit. The hoodie was probably Demyx's. It looks nice…I wonder where he got it…

Kairi looked back evenly at me. Her face and demeanor were calm, but I could see the panic and pain just beneath that neat mask of hers. I wanted to comfort her.

I reached up and cupped her cheek. "It's okay Kai, its fine," I intoned softly. She pushed her hand against mine and pressed her face to my palm, eyes closed as if she were trying to affirm that I was indeed there.

"Come on Kairi," Demyx placed a hand on her left shoulder. 'He has nice finger nails,' I thought absently as I stared at his hand engulfing Kairi's slim shoulder. I lowered my hand. My blood was on her cheek. I touched the broken skin on my own cheek once more.

The feel of it made me queasy.

She gazed at me with worried eyes and hooked my hair behind my ear gently. She offered a small smile before turning away.

"We should call an ambulance," she said in a low voice to Demyx, as though I shouldn't hear. Her words were chocked, like she was trying to suppress the feeling in them.

"I already did. Let Axel look her over first though, firemen get basic paramedic training," he soothed.

Why was everyone talking so funny? Like they couldn't properly pronounce their consonants…

Kairi bit her lip and nodded. She glanced quickly at me then allowed herself to be guided away be Demyx, who led her a few yards away and held her as she shook.

Axel kneeled in front of me as I sat with my legs bent to the side under me. I continued staring blankly off at Kairi and Demyx.

Why did I feel like I was intruding?

I might as well have been wearing a giant yellow banana suit in the middle of an elementary school production of Shakespeare's "Hamlet".

Or you know, be half beaten and bleeding from the foot on a beach.

"Naminé?" I bit the inside of my lower lip and focused on Axel's face, my eyes stinging, hand still to my face, the giant lump lingered in my throat. "Naminé, please look at me."

The sound was back on. In a great rush similar to turning your car on in the morning, and forgetting that you were listening to Lady Gaga at full volume on your way home the night before. Every sound felt as though it were ripping through dead silence.

I forced myself to meet Axel's eyes.

His emerald gaze caught the light and shone as he stared at me intently. I managed a shaky breath through my quivering lips. "Are you alright?"

The gentleness of his voice was breaking what little composure I had clung to. A sob rattled through my body. I was shaking, but I nodded my head and put effort into the smile that reluctantly tipped the corner of my lips.

"I've had worse," I chocked out, much to my horror. Where did my self control go? Why did I sound like this? I really _have_ had worse. Much worse. Oh crap, I can't think about _him_ now, I'll burst into tears. I felt the emotions bubble up to the surface, as though they would burst from my sinus cavity at any moment.

Axel's frown deepened and his eyebrows pulled together. "Ssssh, you're okay." I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes, nodding vigorously, as if trying to emphasize to myself that I was fine now while simultaneously skattering thoughts of Sora away.

The movement only served in adding a headache to my newly acquired physical ailments.

I was aware of the terrified sobs that were still coursing through my body, but I could only hear Axel as he soothed and shushed me. I knew I was safe, I knew nothing worse was going to happen, I knew it was over, but I couldn't stop.

The whole situation had scared me immensely. All the fear the adrenaline had managed to suppress was now escaping in destructive swelling torrents; even as I told myself to calm down, to let it go, to forget about it, my eyes continued to leak, my body persisted in shaking, and my throat was relentless in producing heavy scratching sobs.

I wanted to laugh it off, or pretend it didn't happen. I wanted to explain to Axel that I was 'all good', and that he shouldn't worry, but the sobs persevered more forcefully as I screamed in my head for them to stop. It was all playing back out me like a horrible dream.

What a terrifyingly accurate parallelism for my life...

I felt arms encircle me. I tensed before catching a scent.

Bonfires and detergent and apple cinnamon.

I fell into him, face pressed into his chest. His arms flexed and tightened around me.

For some time we stayed like this, and I didn't open my eyes. I didn't want to just yet.

I saw with what I felt.

I saw the pain in my cheek and foot dull down to a paled throbbing sensation along my veins, I saw my fear slowly withdraw to the back of my mind, I saw the sun sink lower in the sky. I saw my tears fall from my chin. I saw my hands push into my knees. I saw Kairi staring at me in helpless anguish. I saw Demyx devotedly embracing her.

I saw Sora at a great distance.

And I saw Axel, his body gravitating with every shift in my movement to hold me, to hide me, to comfort me, to protect me. He was here. And then I was quiet. I felt…I suppose, better.

I slowly sat up again, sad to loose the safety of Axel's reassuring embrace. The cold air swirled in around me. I sniffed, letting the last few sobs peter out (they sounded rather like hiccups at this point). I brought my hand up to my face to wipe the tears from my eyes and let out a small, frustrated yell when I rubbed against the bruising cut.

I felt I could start crying all over again.

Axel took my shaking hand in his own, bringing them down to my lap. His hand completely surrounded mine as it rested on my knee. I looked up into his face. His left hand came up to my face and softly brushed my bangs off my forehead, I found myself leaning into the touch. His hands came to either side of my face, holding it gently as his thumbs stocked my cheeks, wiping the tears off. The movements were slow and deliberate, as though he wanted me to know exactly what he was intending. His touch was gentle, long, graceful, fingers ghosting silkily over my broken skin.

They left behind whispers of a delightful sensation.

He brought his right hand to eyelevel and examined it.

"You're bleeding," he said softly, almost to himself. I nodded slowly, distracted by the sight of my blood staining his slender, white fingers. He made a fist and released a low growling noise. I stared at his face curiously. Perhaps he disliked blood as much as I do...

"Damn it Naminé!" his sudden anger caught me off guard sending a volt of fear through my heart. I snapped to attention but remained silent. "Why were you alone? Don't you know what you look like?" I opened my mouth to speak but then closed it when nothing came out. I looked down at my hands in my lap, I felt foolish. Maybe this had been my fault.

Wouldn't be the first time.

It was dead quiet.

He let out a sigh. "Just…don't go walking alone again," his voice was soft, pleading. He stroked my hair and let his hand come to rest on my shoulder. His eyes were locked to mine. I opened my mouth and closed it again when once more my voice failed to come forth.

I nodded mutely.

He stood and brushed the sand off his shins. He offered his hand to me.

"When'd you get here? The beach I mean," I asked, suddenly wondering.

"Demyx texted me saying he went to Station Tower (beach) to meet up with you and Kairi, and when I got here, Kairi said you walked off in this direction, so we came to find you." He ran a hand over his red hair.

"Why'd ya come?" I inquired.

"Oh, Dem and I were goin' to a celebratory end of summer/ start of the new semester bonfire with some of our buddies latter," he elaborated.

"Sweet."

He laughed and looked to the ground. He shot me a look that was somewhat disbelieving.

I returned with a look that said I didn't want to think about what had just occurred.

"We were actually going to ask you and Kairi if you wanted to stick around for it," he continued as though no exchange had interrupted the conversation, for which I was grateful. A delicious flutter rushed through my insides. Axel was inviting me somewhere (I chose to ignore the fact that the invitation was also extended by Demyx and included Kairi).

I took the hand he had offered me and made to get up before once more falling to the sand.

I had momentarily forgotten about my janky foot. My leg simply refused to support me with a gashed foot, which was now caked rather graphically in dried blood and sand.

I tried to suppress a blanching reaction from the sight of it.

Axel kneeled once more and examined my foot.

"I stepped on glass," I explained to him through gritted teeth as I pointed over at the offending shards. Pointedly avoiding the spectacle of my left foot. I felt my face pale.

I was imagining the blood uncontrollably pumping out of heaving veins...Bleh.

Axel looked over at the broken glass. "Tch, beer bottles." He sneered at them. I laughed.

His head snapped towards me. "It's not funny Naminé," he deadpanned. I hastily tried to erase the smile off my face.

I found it funny that he glared so heatedly at a broken bottle.

Those fiendish inanimate objects… All they needed were dirty moustaches, and Clark Kent would surely adopt his super hero persona and arrive shortly to thwart them in their nefarious plotting.

"Of course not," I ground out, a smile still tugging at my lips. He rolled his eyes and moved closer, leaning over me.

"What are you doing?" My heart sped up dramatically.

He slipped an arm around my waist and another fit into the bend of my knees. "Well you obviously can't walk on your injured foot." He picked me up with no visible effort.

My face burned. I found myself pressed firmly to his hard chest (myself rather exposed in the teeny borrowed bikini).

"Where are we going?" I questioned nervously. Good lord he smells wonderful.

"The parking lot." My heart sank. He's taking me home? No bonfire for Naminé tonight then.

Sad face.

He smiled.

"The paramedics would probably appreciate it if they didn't have to risk getting sand all over their equipment. And we need to get you patched up if you're going to a bonfire tonight."

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**I'MSORRYITOOKFOREVERTOUPDATE.I'LLTRYNOTTODOITAGAIN.**

**Yes...Well, finals are coming up and so my professors FROM EVERY FREAKING CLASS have decided to assign AT LEAST one paper...SO these assignments (and a great deal of procrastinating from doing afore mentioned papers...)have been keeping me from writing. But don't worry, I still remain devoted to this story~**

**Hope ya liked it! Please review~~~**


	8. A Danger to All Living Things

**Chapter 8:**

I watched the glowing green numbers as they slid silently by to exchange their places. 3:24am became 3:25am…Then 3:36am rolled around…and then eventually 4:02am.

I feel intoxicated.

Now maybe it's because I've been hanging around Axel (who hasn't allowed me more then 3 yards from him since I was…er…attacked).

Or maybe it could be the copious amounts of alcohol I've consumed...And the fact that I **DO NOT **hold my liquor well.

Or maybe, it could be that morphine Axel convinced the nice paramedic lady to give me to ease the pain in my foot where I had to get six stitches put in about nine and half hours ago.

There's no way to tell for sure.

It's probably all three. But hey, who can say?

That rhymed.

Ha.

…

Yeah…I'm pretty loopy.

I feel all warm and cozy. It's been…an eventful sort of evening…

At the bonfire Axel had set me up near the fire pit. Just close enough to bask comfortably in the fire's glow, but not close enough to get overheated like a giant hot plate.

He had also insisted I take his shirt since neither of us had had the forethought to bring a jacket (thought to be fair, I hadn't known I'd be staying late when Kairi and I left EARLY this morning…like 9am early…Ugh).

Speaking of Kairi… She had been a nervous wreck while I was having my stitches done. I had turned quite pale during the process, not because it hurt (I couldn't feel much of anything with the local anesthetic pumping through my leg), but because I could vaguely imagine what the whole process looked like in real time. Surgical tools piercing and tearing the raw split skin…blood gushing onto latex…I won't go on.

The 'incident' had set Kairi a twitter. She kept scurrying about trying to think of something useful to do. (She ended up bringing me two blankets, three bottles of water, a phone (incase I wanted to call my mother), a stuffed animal (a purple and grey elephant), an inspirational t-shirt, and a Harry Potter novel.

So… once the paramedics had given me their stamp of approval and taken off, Demyx and Axel (and myself as well, though only secretly) agreed it was in Kairi's best interest to knock back a few.

In short, Kairi was punch drunk. She and Demyx had withdrawn from the circle to be sickeningly adorable together by the inky blue ocean.

Anyone up for 'Romeo and Juliet and that blonde girl in a Banana Suit'?

At any rate, I did not object whole heartedly when Axel offered his only extraneous clothing to me. I had no objections to his being shirtless. I wouldn't mind if he were shirtless at all times if possible.

Except perhaps around my cougar grandmother; that would just get awkward.

You know how they say all firemen are hot, but then you see some of them, and they're like…well…balding or sand paper-y? I know why they say that now. They are clearly talking about Axel.

I would buy a shady wall calendar featuring sexy fireman…if Axel was featured January through December.

As if the good lord hadn't blessed the boy enough with his gorgeousness and his smarts (kid could hold his own in the academic world), he had also seen fit to bestow upon him the body of a sex god. EVERY muscle in his body was lean and defined. Mmmmm…

He is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen… I think I'll tell him that.

Wait. Maybe I shouldn't mention that to him.

Why would I consider doing that?

Oh yeah. Morphine, alcohol…Axel. My new favorite trips.

I had spent the evening in a bizarre state of semi awareness. My head felt oddly light, and my body strangely heavy. The fire cast a strange glow over the scenery, warping my vision and making everything appear as if I were viewing it from inside a glass case. It was like seeing through the looking glass.

I passed out around 10pm. (To clarify, I mean that I fell asleep.)

I awoke just before half past three o'clock to the resilient and freshly revitalized throb in my foot. And to find that I was in my bed and not at the beach. Hmmm...Curious.

I flipped onto my back and threw my arm over my forehead. I released a slow breath and tried to collect myself. My head ached gently and my throat was very dry.

Someone's going to have a hang over tomorrow morning…Whose that? Oh right, me.

I had been introduced to a lot of my new 'classmates' from TTU. I hope they won't be offended later, when I don't remember their names…or faces.

Maybe they won't recognize me. I hadn't exactly been myself…

Yeah…You keep thinking that Nams…

I let out another sigh before deciding water and aspirin would be necessary if I were to reclaim sleep once more this night. In a single fluid motion, I tossed my comforter to the left and swung my legs over the side of the bed so I was sitting up.

Bad idea.

That gentle ache suddenly awoke and began rocketing around my skull at lightning speed. I pushed at my temples and let out a groan, slowly dragging my hands down my face.

I yelped in pain. I had forgotten the split bruised skin on my cheek. I jumped to my feet and suddenly, the pain in my face was forgotten. And the pain in my foot remembered. I fell back onto the bed and lay there, desperately willing the pain away.

I am a danger to all things living, including myself.

The door to my new bed room whipped open. I screamed in shock and tried to stand up again. This time my leg simply gave out underneath me and I crumpled to the floor, banging my hip into the nightstand on my way down.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" I yelled out, clutching my hip. I felt like I had been shot.

"JEEZ, ARE YOU OKAY?" I looked up from the floor to see that it was Axel who had burst into my room. The light from Sora's- I mean my fish tank cast a strange glow over the scene. It was like an episode of Miami Vice. Did that make me the dead body? Lame.

"WHAT ARE YO-" I stopped and began again in my inside voice. "What are you doing here?"

He relaxed visibly, "I heard you yell and then there was a series of raucous crashing sounds so I came in to make sure you were alright and no racoons had broken in."

I would have face palmed had I not been concentrating on the numerous pain centers claiming my attention at the moment: foot, hip, face...dignity.

"I meant, why are you in my dorm?" Oh the pain…So much pain….PAIN.

"W-well…I just thought-" He began, but I had quite forgotten the question.

"Aspirin..." I whispered, one hand clutching my hip, the other supporting my weight as I leaned into my nightstand.

Axel took a moment to process what I said before springing into action.

"Right! One second," he replied, turning smartly on his heel. He walked quickly through the door into the kitchen returning a moment later with two tablets and a tall glass of water.

"You're a wonderful man," I cooed, gulping the aspirin down in one go. With that I flopped back onto my bed. Knocking my head into the headboard in the process.

I heard Axel release a small cough that sounded oddly like a stifled laugh.

Fucktard…

* * *

**Sorry, no bonfire as may have been guessed due to the last chapter. But an event that would have been too similar occurs later on. Patience readers! Patience.**

**I hope you enjoyed this bought of sillyness. **

**Everytime a reader reviews, a fairy gets its wings. ^^**


	9. Peace

**Chapter 9**

_We were sitting in our usual booth; it was situated at the corner of The Usual Spot (a restaurant we frequented), secluded but not isolated from everyone else. It was set up by one of the high canopied windows that looked westward into the sprawling metropolis basking in the warm glow of the ever departing sun. The restaurant was located at the top of a particularly steep hill just south of the train station, so that you could see the ocean beyond the buildings that lined the winding paved roads._

"_So what do you think Nams?" he asked. Barely able to maintain his excitement._

"_Well…"I was loosing ground fast. Sora was asking me to pick up and leave with him and I didn't have many reasons to stay. _

_I bit my lip._

"_Come on! Don't you want to get out of here? We live in a tourist trap, isn't it time we saw the real world with our own eyes? If we stay here, we'll only ever have the same problems, the same lives!"_

_I looked into his face. Brimming with confidence. He was so sure about everything in his…our lives. He beamed (my heart felt warm). I smiled back._

"_Let's do this Sora."_

_

* * *

_

I awoke with an odd start. Haven't had that dream in awhile…

It felt real. Like a seam in reality had ripped apart and thrown me out of time for just a moment.

I thought back on that night. It was three days after we had graduated high school. We had both been planning on attending TTU. We were still in love then. I was 17 and he was 18. Young and restless to the T.

We had only been together 6 months, but we were friends long before then, and as far as I was concerned, Sora WAS my future. I would have followed that man if it meant moving to Agrabah and becoming a gypsy dancer.

So, when he asked me to leave Twilight Town with him for the excitement of a new life, I could hardly refuse, however scary I found the idea.

We left the next night for Radiant Garden.

* * *

Our first apartment was most definitely not up to code. The walls were paper thin and the ceiling was water stained and stucco frequently cracked off onto unsuspecting heads. Hot water was not commonplace, but rather a delightful surprise when it was available. Two of the three windows faced the adjacent building's brick walls (though none of the windows opened properly anyway). There were only two rooms, the bathroom and the bedroom/living room/kitchen/front room (or as we fondly referred to it, the all purpose hallway…it was a rather small room).

Our neighbors…well…we tried to avoid them.

But despite the third world living conditions, we were happy.

We both attended the local college (Hallow Bastion University) and I took a secretary position for a big business company, while Sora worked a part time job in the university library and another as a waiter in a popular burger joint. Our apartment was kept tidy and despite its shady location, felt warm and bright (looking back, I think that feeling might have been due to Sora).

Between tuition and living expenses, it took us seven months to save up for a better place. We eventually were able to afford a modest flat closer to the college and Sora's work. Unfortunately, our new 'palace' was much further from my work, so we turned off the electricity for a month and I bought a used scooter for the commute.

Once we were there…We were invincible. Luck seemed to smack us upside the head everywhere we went.

Sora found an art gallery where I was able to sell some of my pastel works for a tidy sum and we both managed to wrangle in scholarship money we had been too late for the semester before due to our late admissions.

Sora also picked up a few acting jobs at a prominent theater (The Coliseum) where I became a title designer as well as a light technician.

Our lives were hectic and fast paced, but we were thriving. We weren't just subsisting anymore, we were living.

We bought luxuries we had forgone in our first home, like a television, and a landline. We also bought a cat and some tropical fish (we were both animal people), though we didn't have a yard, so a dog was out of the question.

In my life so far, that was the happiest I've ever been…

**BEEP BEEP BEEP.**

I yelled and tumbled from my warm bed.

I lunged for the alarm clock and smacked my palm down over the snooze button like the hand of God coming down on a despicable sinner.

I rested for a moment there. My hand still on the offensive device, desperately trying to calm my beating heart.

I released a breath and looked into the face of the clock. 8:36am.

Today was to be my first day as a full time student at Twilight Town University.

I listened until my heart slowed to an acceptable pace. I was mighty high strung these days.

I carefully extracted myself from the floor, my body still sore with sleep, and shaking slightly with the remains of excited adrenaline.

I sat on my bed for a moment, staring at my reflection in closet mirror.

It had been a little over a week since 'the incident' and my face still displayed the telling bruises and healing cuts. Not something I was happy about. What a great first impression to make on all my new professors and classmates…

I wonder how these injuries will be interrupted… Probably won't help that I'm currently walking with a crutch.

My left foot still looks like a screenshot from Saw VII in 3D.

I touched gingerly at my cheek, cursing that bastard who left such ugly marks on me.

My only comfort is that Axel's uppercut probably left a pretty grisly scene on his face.

Speaking of Axel, I hadn't seen him since the night of the incident. When I awoke the following morning he had already taken off.

There had been a note pinned to the mini fridge.

_Naminé, _

_Sorry to split so early, but I've got work. Please be careful, I'm leaving against my better judgment, as you apparently can not be left unsupervised or you will inexplicably happen upon self harm. _

_Hope you feel better. _

_Axel_

There was a rose pinned to the note.

When I had flipped it over I found a phone number written on the back, which I had immediately saved to my phone.

**BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP**

I once more found myself diving for the alarm clock, this time upsetting the lamp and picture frame on my nightstand. I really should learn to TURN OFF the alarm and not just smack the snooze button.

It was now 8:45am. I righted the desk lamp and the picture frame (currently empty) and hobbled to the bathroom for a shower.

I started the taps and shut the door.

Hopping onto the counter, I began unwrapping the tan bandage that was around my foot; once again suppressing my gag reflex as I spied the gruesome scabbed up gash sutured together with neat black stitches. I stripped off my pajamas and stepped into the shower, careful to keep my weight over my right foot as much as possible.

I love hot showers. I get up an hour earlier then necessary just so I have time for a nice long shower. I allowed the jet of wonderfully warm water to soak over my cold skin, to seep through my tangled hair. My muscles slowly released their tension and relaxed.

After about a half hour I climbed out of the shower (the water was starting to loose some of its heat). I wrapped a towel around my slightly pink skin and brushed my teeth before lazily blow drying my hair and re-wrapping my janked up foot.

I had picked out my clothes the night before (sue me for being nervous about my first day) so I dressed quickly.

I had chosen a pair of high wasted skinny jeans with three tarnished, detailed buttons on the front and two functionless pouch like pockets over each hip bone (but no pockets on the butt) and a loose cropped grey t-shit with a cut out neckline over a black spaghetti strap sports bra. My slate grey boots were to my mid-calf and had two half circle buckles on a wrap around strap. I added a long grayscale stripped scarf and short black hoodie for warmth and dangling star earrings with small black metal rose studs for decoration (my ears are pierced twice).

I brushed some mascara over my blonde lashes and cap stick over my dry lips and stood back to survey myself in the closet mirror once more. I added a thick metal work ring to my 3rd right finger. It spelled out 'Peace' in slopping graceful lettering amidst ornate overlapping patterns with a peace sign on the inside.

My phone buzzed from its place on the window sill. I put away my make up and made my way over to my phone.

I unplugged it from the charger and flopped onto my bed with it, glancing, out of habit, at the clock face, 9:34am.

I flipped the phone open. I had two new messages. Must have missed one while I was in the shower.

The first one was from Kairi.

_Morning Nams!~ Just makin' sure u r up. U got class at 10 blondie :)_

I smiled and punched my response into the keyboard of my cell.

_I'm up Kai, see you in a few hours! Happy first day back 3_

The second text was from…Axel. My heart magically sped up.

_You up?_

I quickly typed back:

_Yup. Just about to head out. What's up?_

Would a smiley face be too weird? I added one any way.

I pressed send and felt a thrill rocket around my rib cage. I stared at my phone until the screen dimmed.

The phone buzzed once more. I flipped my phone open so fast it flew from my hands. I followed it to the ground and apologized to it as I picked it up gently.

It was Kairi. I felt guilty for the feeling of disappointment that followed.

_Happy 1__st__ day 2 u! Txt me after ur 1__st__ class. Luv ya!_

After a moment I set my phone down again and checked my bag for all the stuff I'd need.

Just as I made sure I had my iPod was securely in the side pocket, my phone buzzed again.

I seized it and carefully flipped it open.

It was Axel.

_Awesome. See ya soon.._

My heart sank a little. Guess that was all…

I sighed and slung my bag over my shoulder, tucking my phone into the hem of my jeans (makeshift pockets are often necessary in ladies' clothing), and grabbing my crutches from where they leaned against the wall.

I opened the door and stepped into the cold, locking up behind me.

I turned around and there was Axel leaning against the wall.

"Morning!" he greeted.

Yes. Today was going to be good.

* * *

**Yay! Winter break is here and I for one am totally jazzed. The end of a semester is always one ridiculous stress fest...Srsly...**

**Well here is chapter 9~! I sincerely hope you all enjoyed it! :D**

**Please review lovelies~**


	10. No Escape

**ThankYouEveryOneWhoReviewed! **

**ICan'tTellYouHowMuchIAppriciateIt!**

**

* * *

****Chapter 10**

Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. Ohsoveryawkward.

Leave it to the universe to put me in this situation.

You know that feeling, when you know that someone is staring at you? But not just staring at you, no no no no… **STARING** at you. So that even if you did turn to meet their eye, instead of averting their gaze and pretending they weren't looking at you, they would continue **staring** at you until you felt so awkward, you would look away.

Which I just did.

My high school ex is sitting directly behind me. Seemingly trying to disintegrate my soul with the power of his mind through narrowed eyes, though he'd never admit it.

Oh and that's not all. Axel is on my left, flicking curious glances at me every few minutes.

And I thought english was hard to pay attention to before…Oh tension…I have not missed you. Please, please leave.

My current way of dealing with the situation was attempting to ignore it. I was writing down everything on the board…which consisted of the teacher's name and the class title.

**Professor V. H. Swanson**

**English 394**

**Satiric Literature of the 17th Century**

I had inked it over seven times. I accidently punched a hole in the paper. I then became excessively fascinated with the sharpening of my pencil to a fine perfect point. My heart hammering away frantically the whole while.

Oh universe…I bet you had fun conjuring up this one…

But I haven't explained this very well. Let's take this back a bit. To this morning, when the day still held such promise…

* * *

***This Morning***

**

* * *

**"Morning," Axel greeted.

"Hey," I greeted back, genuinely surprised. I felt a smile spring to my lips. My cheeks flooded with warmth.

He stood leaning against the opposite wall with his hands in his pockets, wearing a black long sleeve sweater that partially lifted to rest on top of the black studded belt that looped into his grey skinny jeans. His feet were clad in heavy black combat boots that hocked and laced over his ankles.

His inverted tear drop tattoos appeared particularly dark on his pale skin. His acidic green eyes were bright and alive.

He straightened and closed the distance between us, relieving my shoulder of my messenger bag and slinging it across his torso. I might have protested, but what with my crutches, supporting the weight of a heavy book bag over one shoulder was quite unbalancing, and as you may have surmised…I am not the most graceful of persons even in the best of circumstances.

He smiled down at me and I swear to whatever people swear to now a days…I could have just…I don't know what…But I felt so alive. I felt free and fresh and clean, like I could do anything.

Have you ever been around someone who just…makes the world seem brighter? Axel is one of those people.

Sora was one of those people.

I shook my head a bit. Don't let the happy feeling go.

We headed for campus. Me with a new spring in my…er…limp.

We laughed and joked and smiled and talked. It was so easy. I didn't feel nervous or nauseous or weird like I usually did around boys I like.

Yes I said it. I have an open and admitted (in my head)…more then friend liking of Axel. It was a little scary. The only other time I fell this fast was…well you know when that was.

But I couldn't make myself stop or stay away. I was addicted to this feeling that he inspired in me. I was addicted to him.

My heart leapt every time he laughed. My mind frequently circled back to thoughts of him. My woes and sorrows which so often plagued my existence seemed to take a back seat to my growing fascination with this man.

Listen to me! I sound like high school girl's journal…Thank goodness people can't hear what my head comes up with.

I lived about a 10 minute walk away from campus, and as we neared the school, I began to regret not bringing a heavier jacket. Ah lady's fashion…adorable…but not incredibly useful in the biting fall weather.

I sighed audibly.

"What?" Axel questioned?

"Just thinking about the insufficiency of half my wardrobe now that its fall," I replied wistfully, gesturing to my current ensemble.

Axel laughed, taking in my outfit. I laughed and flicked my chin down so that my hair would hide my blush.

"Wait here," he said, nodding his head towards a bench we were just passing.

"Axel, I have class in 20 minutes," I protested.

"I'll be right back. Have some faith!" He flashed a smile as he pushed down on my shoulders so that I would sit. He dropped both our bags by my feet. "This'll just take a sec!" He then snatched my crutches from my grip and streaked off in the direction we had just come from.

"WHAT THE HE- NOT FAIR YOU RED HEADED BASTARD!" I laughed after him. I slumped a bit and blew my bangs out of my face.

Escape to ensure my timely arrival at my first class of the semester had been affectively ruined due to my inability to correctly walk.

I looked at my phone, 9:43am. Boy I was going to be cutting it close… I hope the professor isn't a stickler for punctuality.

I stared in the direction he had run off to; squinting my eyes to try and make out his tall frame and flaming red hair. Where had that boy gone off to…

"Hey," a voice tore me from my task. I turned to face a boy with blond hair holding a stack of flyers.

"Hello," I greeted, waiting for him to explain his reason for talking to me, a complete stranger.

"Ouch," he cringed rubbing the side of his face, "What happened?"

My hand flew to my cheek to mirror his motion. And so it begins…

"Ah ,uhm…That's nothing, you should see the other guy," I laughed it off, trying to make him think it was nothing serious.

He laughed with me, more at ease now that he was sure I wasn't going to tell him about my abusive boyfriend and ask him for help.

There was a moment of silence after the laughter died out. I looked at him expectantly, as he was still standing there. I resisted the urge to rudely check the time…or talk about my abusive boyfriend.

"My friend's throwing a party to celebrate the beginning of the semester," he said holding out a flyer to me. I took it and examined the content. It wasn't for a whole month. "You should come."

"Oh, well…I'll consider it…" I said a bit uneasily. This total stranger was asking me to go to another stranger's house to a party whose main theme was likely to be alcohol.

"Yeah, cool," he smiled, but…he didn't leave… "So, you a freshman? Or just new here? Haven't seen you before, and I'd remember you."

I laughed nervously. He was now openly checking me out.

Mmm…this is getting uncomfortable…

"Just transferred," I answered. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Stupid foot…You prevent my leaving!

"Really? I should show you around. What are you doing this Friday?"

I was about to open my mouth to explain that I wasn't new, just returning, when a familiar voice cut in.

"She'll be out with me hopefully," Axel said from behind me. He slipped a warm Styrofoam cup into my hand and held his hand out to the boy in front of me.

"Hi, I'm Axel. And I see you've already met my Naminé here," he said casually, but there was a sort of tension in his stance. Wait…did he say 'my Naminé'? My stomach lurched.

The boy hesitantly shook Axel's outstretched hand. "Yeah, Axel, I think we've met before, nice to see you again. Well, I've got to get going." He looked to me, "Hope to see you later." He then turned and quickly walked off, casting a glance at Axel as he went.

I twisted around and smacked Axel's arm. He looked down at me, slightly alarmed.

"Thanks for taking my only means of transportation away! There was no escaping the weirdness!" I cried out indignantly.

Axel laughed, "Sorry, I forgot you're a guy magnet for a second there. Just wanted to warm you up before class," he gestured to the beverage now in my hands. "Hot chocolate, Kairi mentioned you weren't much for coffee."

"10 points for your knowledge," I praised.

"Are you going to go to that?" he asked, indicating the flyer I had in my lap.

I shrugged. "Dunno…Not really sure what it is." I frowned down at the graphic of a candy red apple with the silhouette of a wolf on it. What a strange picture to advertise for a start of semester party…

"That's Leon's annual Halloween party." Ah, a Halloween party, the graphic makes sense now.

"Lets see…I do enjoy Halloween…Though I do not enjoy partying in a strangers house…So…It's a fifty fifty."

"He always throws it at a club."

"Alright sixty forty. But now I've got to get going. May I have my crutches back?"

"What class have ya got next?" he asked, making no move to return my crutches which were tucked sideways under his left arm.

"English 394 with Swanson," I answered.

"Really now?" Axel intoned as a smile worked its way onto his seductive lips, "Now I just happen to be heading to that very class!"

I smiled. "In that case we'd better get going," I checked the time on my phone once more. 9:54am. "Damn…We're going to be laaaaate," I muttered.

"Oh yeah?" An odd sort of glint presented itself in his shocking viridian eyes. "I'll bet you that I can get us there in time."

"Okay…But if you can't, you owe me a million dollars," I joked. I checked my phone again: 9:55am.

"Accepted," he laughed, "And if I succeed, you have to go to that party with me."

My head snapped up.

"The challenge begins now!" Axel called out as if to a stadium of onlookers.

"Wait, wha-" is all I got out before I was swooped up over Axel's shoulder, fireman style, desperately trying to keep my hot chocolate from tipping over.

Axel took off running. My bag slung across his chest, his hanging off his shoulder, my crutches in his hand, and his other arm around my knees to keep me from slipping off his other shoulder.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

We were going fast.

Axel was seemingly undaunted by my extra weight, or the extra weight of my things.

The cool air was sharp against my face, but I started laughing when his voice split the air.

"OUT OF THE WAY EVERYONE! PEOPLE WILL BE LATE TO CLASS." He yelled, successfully parting crowds of students and faculty, and drawing many eyes to the spectacle of us.

Who ever thought Monday morning could be so much fun? Better yet, downright thrilling!

And on top of it all, I didn't feel like I was going to die! I have a fear of heights you see (and Axel is quite tall), but I didn't feel like I was going to fall. Despite my precarious position, I felt secure.

Axel tore around a corner and slipped past someone as they opened the door to enter a building.

"Slow down Ax!" The person called good naturedly after us.

We skidded to a halt in front of the doors to a large lecture hall. (Thankfully on the first floor, stairs just sounded like a bad idea.)

I was still laughing with exhilaration.

"How're we on time?" Axel asked, his breathing barely affected from his laborious run.

I shifted a bit to get to my phone, which was clutched between my hot chocolate (un-spilt) and my palm.

"9:58 am. I am impressed good sir," I told him, amusement saturating my voice.

"Ha!" There's that competitive streak again. "Better start thinking of a good costume 'cause we're going to that party!" He patted my legs as if to finalize a point.

I exaggerated a sigh, "If I must," I drew out as if I were suffering.

"Now time for some good ol' college learnin'," he seized the handle and strode into the classroom.

"Wait! Put me down!"

Too late…we were in the high ceilinged stadium seating classroom.

"Oh right." He bent and slid my legs to the ground. He rose, his hands lingering on my hip to balance me. He handed my crutches back.

I smiled into his face. Caught in the moment, stuck between the two of us.

Someone coughed.

I whipped my head away from Axel. A fair few people quickly averted my gaze, while some continued to watch Axel and I with smirks or puzzled looks, a few looked on with what I could only call distaste.

And then…

"Naminé." I turned to the voice over my shoulder and froze.

"Si-Seifer!" I stood rooted to the spot, staring into my high school 'sweat heart's' icy blue eyes.

He continued looking at me as he always had…as though I were a marble statue with some great hidden meaning etched into my face and figure.

But I wasn't.

I was just Naminé.

My brain wasn't working at that moment.

When I left with Sora…it had been partially motivated by my desire to get away from this man.

We…Or more accurately, I hadn't ended our relationship on good terms…To say the least.

I shouldn't have come back.

As we stood in that place, my eyes locked to his, paralyzed by his gaze, I felt the damn break. All those ugly things I had run away from two years ago burst passed the wall I had hid them behind. My past flooded violently into my thoughts.

All the hundreds upon thousands of reasons for my leaving crashed over me.

My heart sank. For a moment I felt as though I had been sent back to the hell I had fled. Back under the thumb of others, back to being a possession, back to living a lifeless life.

I had thought that Sora was the solution to all these 'problems', he took me from this life after all; but he turned out to be a temporary fix on my suffering; maybe those two years were the only freedom I'd ever have.

My chest felt compressed. My shoulders burdened by an immense pressure. I felt I could suffocate. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. I was despairing. I felt a panic attack coming on.

Axel's hand came down on my shoulder. I released the breath I had been clinging to unknowingly. It was like a lifeline had been thrown to me. I remembered that I **had** escaped.

I was living on my own…Financially independent…Doing my own laundry…

I breathed again. But the pressure remained.

"Good morning class. Welcome to English 394. Please be sure you are in the right place," a man with glasses and thin brownish hair said, walking past us to the desk. "Please take your seats," he added, glancing in our direction.

I hesitated. Seifer gestured with his arm for me to go ahead of him up the narrow staircase aisle. He always had been polite. He always told me what to do.

Axel followed after me and we sat 4 rows up. Seifer took the seat directly behind me. Staring proverbial holes into my head.

Thankfully the teacher began the lesson, staying our meeting for another hour and fifteen minutes.

* * *

***The Present***

So here I am in limbo.

Caught between my messy past and my fragile present.

Left to wait.

Oh universe…You son of a lady of an unkind nature.

* * *

**An extra long chapter for you all! Happy Holiday season~~~**

**So here we are! Naminé's past…What the hell happened there? Patience, enlightenment shall come soon.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this installment of A Clean Shave! Please review my lovelies.**


	11. To Break the Monotony

**Happy 2011 all! ^^~**

**Please enjoy!**

**Chapter 11**

It's funny how time moves so slowly…and yet summarizing can happen in a matter of minutes.

Like a flash of compressed moments in time. There and gone, the ever lingering essence haunting your mind, but fleeting in the interest of the unconnected.

I thought I had successfully pushed my past down. I thought I had Othello-ed that crap.

You know…like how Othello smothered Desdemona…With a pillow…And she died…

Anyway.

Turns out it had just been in my blind spot. Said blind spot being Sora.

When we were together…His natural light blinded me from seeing it. That warm alluring light.

And even when he'd left…I had been so miserable…The horror of loosing him had eclipsed the horror that was my life before him.

* * *

I was 15, and I was stuck.

Not in a rut. Not bored.

Trapped.

My life had been mapped out for me since I was born. Only recently did I realize how awful this was.

I lived at a boarding school 10 months out of the year. Kingdom Academy.

I studied art and music, in addition to general education subjects.

I had friends. Or rather, I spent evenings with girls my age…from 'the right' sort of families.

'Families' like mine.

I was engaged from the age of 6 to a slightly older, very handsome boy from a well connected, well off family. When I turned 18, I was to become Naminé Collette Snow-Almasy.

We went out, on 'dates'; where he would talk with other boys and men from other respectable families about things of importance. Like politics, world occurrences, yachting. I, in turn, would tell charming anecdotes and play the role of arm candy.

We pretended to be the perfect couple.

We were the perfect couple.

He was a man's man.

I was a good girl.

I was smart. I kept my mouth shut. I was rich. I was pretty. Nothing else mattered.

Live up to everyone's expectations. Don't go beyond. Don't go astray.

Be perfect.

That was all.

I lived my life in shades of grey. Until he brought color into my world.

* * *

I stared at the bland taupe walls of the dining hall willing some magic to wind itself out of the elegant fleur de lis wallpaper. I wanted something to change. It didn't have to be amazing…just a flicker of movement, a single unique line, a moment of something…anything different.

Anything to break the soul killing monotony.

It was the first day of my junior year at Kingdom Academy. I had been back for two weeks already. Daddy was on another business trip, and staying with my mother was out of the question, Daddy didn't want me to get 'ideas' from her.

I sat across from my fiancée, Seifer Almasy. He was reading one of his newspapers. I wasn't eating my eggs and sausage.

"Naminé," my eyes slipped onto his face, "eat your breakfast." His attention returned to whatever article about business affairs it had been previously absorbed in. If I hadn't seen the difference in the tilt of his chin, I might have thought I had imagined his voice.

I wasn't worth the spare glance.

I smiled vaguely at his unseeing face and obediently picked up my fork. The eggs tasted like dust.

Everything tasted like dust.

We sat in silence. I didn't look at the walls again. They were disappointing this morning.

Laughter sounded to my right. I looked over and instantly brightened. Olette, Selphie and Xion were headed towards us. Olette waved when I caught her eye. I stood to greet them. Seifer put down his newspaper.

Let the show commence.

Seifer stood and put an arm around my waist, I plastered a smile onto my lips. Careful not to tense my shoulders or furrow my brow at the contact.

"Good morning ladies," he greeted cordially.

"Morning Seifer," Olette chirped.

"Hello," Xion smiled shyly.

Selphie giggled and offered a small wave.

Seifer turned to me, "I'll see you after classes are out." It wasn't a question. It never was.

"Another meeting?" I pretended to pout.

He smiled at me. A warm fabricated smile. "Be good," he said, pulling me in and kissing my forehead.

"I make no promises," I joked, smiling sweetly. His hand slipped to my neck.

"Study hard," he mock whispered before kissing my lips. I smiled after him as he walked away, nodding to Xion, Selphie, and Olette as he left.

We were nothing if not great performers.

"Ohmygosh! You guys are sosososososososso cute!" Selphie cooed. Olette giggled and Xion soon joined her. I tried to look demure, as though this comment embarrassed and pleased me.

I felt the ice around my heart harden just a bit.

With every act, I withdrew further and further away. With every act, I became more and more believable.

We sat and chatted. School wouldn't begin for another hour. I woke up early enough to have breakfast with my fiancée, ever the perfect girlfriend. Always be perfect.

Olette was bursting with fresh gossip from the summer. She always made it her business to know who was with who, and who had done what, and where everyone was going or had been.

I listened because I became privy to all sorts of interworking connections between people who ran in important circles. This knowledge made me useful. This knowledge could help Seifer in his networking.

This knowledge made him **look** at me.

I was rarely interested or invested, but this time, she had news on a name I hadn't heard in a few years.

"So, have you guys seen the new kid yet?" she leaned in conspiratorially. The hall was now bustling with students, boys looking sharp in their handsome grey jackets, and girls coyly swishing their pressed wine colored skirts.

I shook my head vaguely, trying hard to appear riveted. Xion raised an eyebrow and Selphie giggled excitedly.

Olette turned to Selphie, "Isn't he gorgeous?" She gushed. Selphie nodded fervently.

Xion and I exchanged glances. Xion turned her head down to hide her smirk.

Selphie put her 1st finger to her temple, "He kinda looks familiar too."

"That's because he's related to Roxas Hikari. They're like…cousins or something," Olette waved her bracelet clad hand dismissively. Xion, curiously, turned a pretty shade of red. Well, I'll have to look into that later…But first…

"What's his name?" I asked politely, breaking my attention from the obviously frazzled Xion. This new kid might be worthwhile to know.

"Uhm…Something like…uh," Olette frowned, searching her memory. Olette never was one for names.

"Its Sora, I think," Selphie offered putting a slender finger to her chin.

"Yes!" Olette agreed, "That's it, Sora Hikari!"

Images of a short, wiry, bright eyed boy plopped into my head.

"Sora Hikari?" I exclaimed a little too loudly, standing from my seat. Selphie and Olette looked at me in surprise; I was never this excited about gossip.

"Uh, yeah…" Sephie said with a bemused expression on her delicate face.

"I know him!" I explained excitedly. "He was best friend in middle school!"

"That's the goofy Sora you always talk about?" Xion asked, disbelieving.

Of all my 'friends', Xion was the one I might expect to stick around if times were hard.

Looking back, I realize that Xion was the only person I allowed a true friendship with.

I was too excited to notice that she was looking at something away from me.

"Sora Hikari, yes!" I couldn't believe how excited I was. My nerves were exploding with delightfully thrilling sensations. I hadn't seen Sora since he was sent to school in the Destiny Islands half way through 8th grade. Our email friendship had eventually dwindled to the occasional holiday e-card since then. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed him. It'd been awhile since a person had inspired such a strong reaction in me.

Something to break the monotony.

"Naaaaaaaaaaaaaminé !" An excited masculine voice tore my focus from my gawking friends.

And there he was. Same as ever. Tearing towards me at break neck speed.

My heart seized up as if I were just going over the crest of a steep hill on a fast rollercoaster. In spite of myself, I found my legs flexing and contracting as fast as possible to close the distance between us.

In that instance, I forgot to be perfect.

We closed the distance between us in no time. I jumped the last few feet at him, thoroughly expecting to tackle him to the ground like I did when we were kids. To my great surprise, I instead, was hoisted by my sides into the air by a set of strong arms. I let out a laugh of pure exhilaration and let my hands rest on his shoulders, looking down adoringly into his beaming face.

After a moment, he loosed his grip so that I slid into an embrace, feet still off the ground, his arms locking me to his chest. He tightened his hold affectionately and spun quickly so that my legs soared out like a rag doll's. I laughed louder and more honestly then I had in months.

He crushed me tight once more before returning me to the ground. This, once again to my surprise, was a significant distance to drop.

"Sora," I breathed, still winded from his bear hug. A felt a huge smile on my face.

He smiled at me with that carefree pearly white smile. I inwardly sighed, glad to see that my Sora was still existent.

But he wasn't the same Sora I had known. He was…hot.

Sorry to put it so bluntly, but he was fine. With like…10 i's in there…Fiiiiiiiiiine.

He was tan and tall and built. None of which he had been when we were in middle school.

Something to break the monotony.

* * *

A hand fell onto my shoulder.

I gasped and jumped back in my seat. However my lopsided weight distribution sent me toppling into Axel.

He caught me under the arms and set me right in my chair.

I murmured an embarrassed thank you. My face didn't turn pink; I had caught sight of the one who had brushed my shoulder.

With a chalky white completion, I forced myself to meet my ex-fiancée's gaze.

"A word," he commanded. It wasn't forceful, but it wasn't a question either.

My mouth was dry; I stared futilely into his face. My voice had flown away.

There was a sound of a chair scrapping against the hardwood floor. It was rather loud. I suspected it to be purposeful…

"Axel," Axel held his hand out, effectively drawing Seifer's pressurized attentions away from me. Whatever paralytic power Seifer had inadvertently inflicted lifted.

"Seifer," Seifer met his hand firmly. "I'm sorry to be rude, but I'd like a moment with Naminé." He inclined his head to me.

Axel's eyes flicked to my face, they seemed to ask if it were alright to just leave me alone with this strange man. Seifer could look rather intimidating with that giant scar across his face. I nodded weakly in response.

The exchange was virtually unnoticed by Seifer.

"I'll see you tonight. Can you tell Kairi I'm on my way?" My voice sounded quiet and distant in my head.

"Sure," Axel affirmed, not quite dropping his gaze from Seifer, as though he expected him to suddenly spring at me, like those snakes in documentaries about dangerous predators. He nodded once to Seifer and then did something unexpected.

He leaned into me and kissed the bruise on my cheek.

He turned and strolled out of the lecture hall with a smirk barely disguised on his handsome features.

Such a simple gesture.

It was so pure and gentle. I was overwhelmed at how natural it seemed. Sora was never one for P.D.A (beyond handholding and hugs). And Seifer…well, he didn't mind displaying 'affection' if someone were there to witness it.

I watched Axel leave with a hand to my face. My insides were burning with delight.

I faced Seifer with a confidence he had likely never seen in me.

"Hello Seifer," My voice was clear and even.

* * *

**So, dear readers, we now face a problem…I will be leaving next week for a semester abroad. Yay! **

**However, this will mean that my schedule may not permit timely updates… Not so yay…**

**I may call this story 'on hold' and update when possible… **

**I would like to be clear: I am not going to abandon this story. **

**Please bear with me if updates are not as consistent. Thank you for your time. **

**And a special thank you to my reviewers. Your words encourage and inspire me.**


	12. Kitten

**Chapter 12**

"_Bring it on fucker! What? Expecting your sweet, silent, emotionless, little, Barbie doll? Like hell! I'm Naminé 2.0 bitch! Now with a backbone and ass kicking, foul mouthed action equipped!_

_Think you can just come in here and take over my whole God damn life like you used to? _

_Pssssht! Well guess what mister? We're OVER. Our engagement is no more! I turned the ring over ages ago and I DO NOT want it back! _

_No matter how beautiful it was…Three carats framed in white gold and silver metal work…Sigh…_

_BUT I DON'T WANT IT BACK._

_You made me miserable! Every moment we spent together was a fucking mind game! _

_I was ignored until you needed something from me. And the second you had it, I went back to being another accessory decorating the gaudy, overpriced room."_

That didn't really happen…What I actually said was:

"Hello Seifer."

But I think he got the point.

…

Shut up.

He reached a hand out and placed it over my own, which was still pressed to the spot where Axel's lips had brushed my bruised skin.

I willed myself not to shy from the contact. Look him in the eye. Look him in the eye.

Look him in the eye GOD DAMN IT.

My nerves were shooting off like fireworks. Zipping from my finger tips to my toes like race cars at the Indie 500. The kind of feeling that encourages one to run away. I had an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach, an odd displaced sort of feeling, as if I were about to throw up. I suppressed my flight response and gag reflex.

Confidence or no, I was so very nervous…

This was one of those moments that could break down all the progress I had made. It took amazing torrents of will power not to cower in front of this man. I spent years craving his attention and approval. A childhood ruled by the concept of him.

His fingers curled around my hand as his other hand directed my chin to the right. I allowed the movement but my eyes slid to the side so I could still see his face. He pulled my hand from my face.

He looked angry. Not the yelling kind of angry, the seething outraged kind of angry.

I'd only seen this look a few times in all my years of knowing him, and it had never been directed at me.

If I were a dog, my ears would be pressed flat to my head.

I fought with my lungs to prevent hyperventilation.

"Who?" My focus gravitated strictly to him. His voice was silky and weighted. Loaded with dangerous intention and a desire to hurt.

I felt the ribbons of his rage curl around body.

I turned to him and stared. "Huh?" Was my very intelligently worded response.

He didn't reply. Instead he dropped his hands and knelt on one knee before me.

I frowned in confusion. My jaw fell open slightly.

He reached out and grasped my shin. With his other hand he began loosening my boot and rolling up the hem of my jeans. I squirmed a bit.

"What are you-" I was cut off by a look from those silencing eyes. My chest seized up, my heart abruptly coming to a halt, my lungs flattening, my stomach muscles tensing. I stopped fidgeting. I couldn't help it. I had been conditioned since I was 13 to do as he said.

The classroom was vacant but for us. A sense of panic washed over me, I knew very well that Seifer would never physically hurt me, but the thought of being alone with him after all this time was truly terrifying to me.

The silence was smothering me. A tangible entity with its claws hesitating dangerously over my throat, waiting but not touching; crooked nails only millimeters from drawing blood, teasing my skin with the prospect of malicious contact. I felt the hair on the nape of my neck raise.

He slowly began unwrapping my bandaged foot. I froze. I wasn't sure I wanted him to see the gnarly cut that split the skin on the sole of my foot. I didn't know how he would react.

I felt naked and exposed as the last bit of bandage slipped from my ankle. He looked intently at the injury. His features betrayed no reaction, but I recognized the calculating focus radiating in his glacial irises.

His finger gently traced the skin surrounding the healing cut. A tingling sensation shot up my leg. My whole body blushed.

"Seifer," I whispered hesitantly. There was a moment in which I thought I might have imagined saying his name. Or perhaps the silence had merely swallowed it up.

His eyes snapped up to meet mine, sending a jolt up my spine. He rose so we were almost eye to eye. His hands rested on my knees. The energy of the room was electric and forbidding. Like being in the eye of a storm.

"Who?" he repeated firmly.

I cursed myself when I shank back.

My brain was foggy and searching. I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"Who did this to you." His voice was painfully still and clear. His hand whispered over my cheek. I flinched just barely, but he caught the hesitation.

The gesture had felt intimate.

I stared at him. Completely speechless.

"Was it him? Axel. Did he do this?"

I licked my dry lips thoughtfully and tried to pick through what he was saying.

"Axel?" I broke from the moment ever so slightly, anchoring to the one word I had grasped. Trying to process what he was getting at. Piecing words together like puzzle pieces, as though I hadn't really heard. I could hardly listen when I was focused so keenly.

"His knuckles were split on his right hand. The bruises are on the left side of your face."

Ah.

"What? No! Axel would never! Never!" I tried to stand but Seifer did not surrender his ground, pressing on my knees as he stood before me so I would remain perched on my chair. "He protected me…" My voice faltered to the end as he stood tall over me.

He stared at me as if trying to detect a lie. Stern and searching, boring relentlessly into my widened eyes. He wouldn't find one. I stared stubbornly into his beautiful ice blue irises.

We held one another there for a moment. Eyes locked like white knuckled fists.

He took the smallest half step back and pulled me up by my forearms, momentum and surprise causing my body to crash into his.

His lips fell to mine. I froze for a moment. The kiss was light and soft. Not absent and hollow like they used to be.

His hands tangled into my hair and pulled ever so slightly, working his nimble fingers into my scalp. His thumbs rubbed slow deliberate circles over the sensitive skin behind my ears.

I felt my eyelids droop. He always had…been good…at this…

My lips moved against his, loosing my resolve to my reflexes. How was I supposed to loose these lingering desires when I couldn't put distance between us anymore? Seifer was hard to deny for any number of reasons, and with the full power of his physical and psychological being present, baring down on me so fixedly…I could feel the urge to please him blossom in my scarred heart once more.

He pulled back and seemed to hesitate a moment. His demeanor calm and observant, as though waiting for something. He brushed his velvet lips sensually over mine.

I felt his breath against my mouth.

I snapped my face away from him. This was wrong.

No.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't let him possess me again. That was like giving him the strings back.

One step forward. Two steps back.

"Naminé," he said lowly. "I want you."

My eyes widened. Never had he said anything to me…That implied any sort of affection.

I looked into his face. "Come back."

The words echoed into those hollow memories I had of him, the ones I had shoved to the highest shelves in my mind.

When he had sat across from me and listened without attention.

When he stopped asking, knowing my answer was a given.

When he left in the morning before I awoke after nights of…being together.

They stirred something in me. That emotion of wanting to be wanted. I felt satisfied. I had spent years as a shadowed phantom of his life…waiting to be noticed, wanting to be needed. Creeping through the recesses of a sheltered existence. Praying for acceptance and craving attention that would never be spoken.

My mind couldn't work either way. I was so taken aback, that any powers of thought had abandoned me in a chaotic flutter of half-feelings and broken realities.

My need for his recognition, for his approval, had never been satiated, and turning my back on it had just made it that easy for those feelings to sneak up on me. A part of me was overjoyed by his attentions.

And the other part, that little voice I used to ignore so desperately, remembered how miserable my life had been.

But had it really been that awful?

With Seifer, I had never worried about money or the unexpected. Because nothing in that life was unexpected. He had never abandoned me or let anyone else hurt me. He was safe. He was secure. He was a given.

The situation was very appealing when so many variables were up in the air because of the life I had chosen. Running to Seifer would mean escaping disappointment and despair.

I had left so many things to chance…My living situation, my friendships, my career, my happiness, Axel…

Axel.

What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't keep 'solving' my problems by creating new ones, or worse, going back to the old ones. Running back to Seifer would mean the end of freedom.

I looked steadily at the boy who represented so much of my childhood. Unable to shake my head, I let my silence speak for me.

Something flashed through his eyes. Too quickly to discern.

He brushed my hair back.

"You know I'm not good at accepting no for an answer," he smiled devilishly like he used to. My heart fluttered in spite of myself. He was rewarding me for my response…?

"I'll see you soon kitten," he kissed my parted lips before I could turn away and strode out of the classroom. I felt the shadow of a smile fall onto my mouth at the use of my old nickname.

When had he stopped calling me that?

I watched the door as it slowly closed. Clicking as the handle met the catch.

I sat dazed for a moment. I turned mechanically to grab my bag and my crutches.

I sure had an earful for Kairi.

* * *

**I hope this was to your liking you wonderful readers you!**

**Sadly and happily, this is my last update from home for four whole months...! Not to be repetitive...but updates will likely no longer be consistent. But I shall try my darndest!**

**CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!**


	13. Avoidance

**Aaaaaaaand we're back!**

Chapter 13

"And he's not even in the class?" Kairi asked.

"No! I checked the register online. He's not even enrolled here!" (We're talking about Seifer.)

She made a face, "What a creeper."

I felt a pang of anger. "He called me kitten."

Silence descended momentarily.

"Kitten?" She deadpanned.

I nodded once. "Kitten."

"…Kitten." She looked at me with woeful distaste.

I hesitated a moment before nodding slowly.

"He still calls you…Kitten." She scoffed and looked away as though I had uttered something idlely offensive to her.

"Uhm. Yes…?" Where was this going…?

"That's…so…" Kairi struggled with her own words.

I waved my hand in a circular motion to signal her to 'get on with it'.

"…Gross." She finished.

I started. "Why?" I blurted. I almost sounded defensive. I certainly felt it.

She turned disbelieving eyes on me. Ones that questioned my very sanity.

Don't look away…

"Naminé! It's so demeaning!"

"I always thought it was kinda sweet…" I mumbled.

She made an indignant noise in the back of her throat.

"What! It's nice! Like a term of endearment, a token of affection, a nickname. You call me Nams all the time," I protested.

"No. That is completely different! 'Nams' is a shortened version of your name. It's a familiar's abbreviation. 'Kitten' is a…Well…It's a step up from patting you on the head and congratulating you on your loyal obedience with a liver snap! It's his own subtle way of establishing power over you by cutting your importance with a less then reputable title!"

I thought for a moment. "Are you sure that's not just your Psychology of Feminism class talking?"

She exhaled audibly. "Remember how…Dad," she looked like that word took some effort to concede into vocalization, "used to call me 'baby doll'?"

I recalled instances of their interactions. I couldn't manage to drum up too many.

"Vaguely," I refocused my eyes.

She looked at me significantly.

"Oh." Was all I could say to that realization.

"Exactly."

There was a loaded silence before Kairi turned off the emotional gravity.

"So…Talk to me about Axel…"

My face flushed red.

* * *

_The quiet was deafening. _

_Ringing absolute in the silent, stagnant air. _

_The heat dripping seductively…salaciously… off the stillness of the stinging scene. _

_I felt like a color character, dropped into a black and white world. _

_Robbed of sound._

_But there was color all around me. _

_The sand was rough and yielding under the burning, naked flesh of my feet._

_The sounds of the crushing swells and lapping waves on the shoreline were things I felt…rather then heard. A precise, drumming beat rocking through my chest every few minutes. My breathing unusually slow, to keep time with the sure, steady rhythmic pulse. _

_The sun cast its spindly rays upon a world of motionless motion. Grappling with wicked shadows for blessed exposure. Confiding tantalizing tales of sweet paradise to the glistening sea and shimmering skies within their prisons of gravity. _

_The wind was absent in this pristine world. So that no alleviation was offered to my sweat sticky skin. The white dress clung to my back and sides, cleaving to my damp, sunscreen-moistened skin uncomfortably, only breaking contact at my hips to hang complacently in displaced folds about my trembling knees. _

_My mouth was dry, and my lips felt chapped as I wordlessly moved them to control and facilitate my laborious breathing. I tasted the salty sweet sheen of my skin. Or was it blood?_

_My eyes were glassy and unfocused, but they stared unflinchingly at a point in the distance away from the lamenting sea. Glassy and far-off._

_How curious this place is. I found myself wondering after it. _

_I felt stone cold from within, stiff shivers rippling eerily across my thinly veiled skin, but I knew that the warmth of the day was staggering._

_I wanted to see what I was looking at, but my eyes refused to focus coherently, instead watching the isolated explosions of color from the idle firings of my own optic neurons. _

_I was trapped in my head._

_I felt a growing sense of dread. I could sense the dreamlike quality of the timeless moment, and as of late, the beach had proven to be a sight of terror and pain. _

_The edges of my vision began to flick away, as though someone was chipping away at the parts that stood out. The scene grew steadily thinner._

_I was not the subject of this inevitable nightmare. _

_I never was._

_My unseeing eyes protected me from what I might see. _

_One of those re-invented insecurities or regrets that stalked the purest and simplest of thoughts in my tortured mind. Hunting, waiting, calculating. Determining the optimum moment to spring forth; when my vulnerable consciousness would be most open to an attack._

_I fought with my dreaming eyes, willing them to meet whatever had captured my wandering, vacant attentions. _

My eyes snapped open to a pressing darkness. Pupils struggling to focus in the blackness of my room, as though I had really just been in the full glow of the lavish coastal sunlight.

Another one. Another one of…those.

I wish I had looked.

The unknown is always scarier then actuality.

I turned over on my side and fell into a thankfully dreamless slumber.

* * *

In some respects, even I am able to recognize that I am truly amazing.

For instance, my avoidance skills: superb.

I could keep away from just about anything or anyone if I really put my mind to it.

Shall we review?

Current list of things which I am avoiding at all costs:

People in general (until my face stops looking like I played with a trick telescope)

Depression

Kairi (she currently begins singing "The Love Boat" theme every time I see her…)

Seifer…

Is there anything else…

Oh yes.

Axel.

But that's another story…

Should I go into it? Yes. Yes I shall.

Let us journey back to last week.

"_So, who was that guy?"_

_We were in Kairi's apartment. Kairi decided that we should all celebrate the commencement of the new semester. So that night Kairi flung together a ragtag gathering of available friends to have dinner at her and Demyx's place. _

_Dinner, of course, was fan-frickin-tastical. I swear…Kairi's cooking was an experience surpassing anything that fine dining had ever offered me. We gorged ourselves on chicken and spinach ravioli and homemade sour dough bread. _

_If it is physically possible to eat one's body weight in food, then I most certainly did such a thing._

_I'm such a lady._

_Anyway, back to Axel's question. I gulped down the soda I had been sipping, wincing subtly as my throat rejected the large quantity of carbonation scratching at it. I licked my lips, which suddenly felt dry._

"_Uh, who do you mean?" I don't know why I was stalling. Axel wasn't the sort of guy to back down from a question he wanted answered…and judging from the intensity of his tone, he wanted to know. He wasn't looking at me, but his posture was tense and rigid, telling me that despite his countenance, he was listening with rapt attentions. _

_His jade irises slipped casually onto my face. I looked away nervously, flicking a piece of hair out of my eyes before tentatively looking back into his face. His eyes locked me there. _

_His expression warranted the reassertion of the previously posed question._

_I cleared my throat and licked my upper lip again. _

"_That was…my…" My…My what? Ex-fiancé? Ex-lover? Ex-life? "My…Ex..." I snapped my mouth shut._

_There. That was a safe answer that didn't drag up too many questions. Did I really want to get into the gory details of my past with the guy I was experiencing strong feelings for? Talk about drama…It would probably scare him away… I hadn't even disclosed all the particulars to Sora. _

_Sure he had known about Seifer, how could he not considering how and when we got together…But…I'll get to THAT later…._

_The point is, no one but those directly involved knew about all the other messed up shit in my past. And Kairi was the only one who knew how much it had screwed me up. Probably cause it had screwed her up just as much. _

_She was just better at dealing with it then I had been. Then I am._

"_Just…your ex?" He pushed, an edge forming in his low voice. _

"_Y-Yeah…" I replied lamely, feeling the need to go on the defensive._

_He could read my lies as easy as breathing._

"_You're sure about that?" He pressed._

_I glanced away and nodded curtly. _

"_Seemed a bit more then that," he muttered so that I would hear. He sounded…angry?_

"_Yes I'm sure." I replied sharper then I had intended. Why was I defending a lie?_

"_Then why'd you ask me to leave?" His voice was picking up volume. Why was he so mad?_

_I got up as if to leave, but he was determined. He stood from where we had been sitting on the ground and followed me to the door of the kitchen. Everyone else had vacated to the living room of the apartment. _

_I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, making my head feel fuzzy and pricking. _

_I continued into the kitchen, "Would you please just drop it? He's just an ex. We left things badly, and he just wanted to talk. Okay?" I shot him a heated glare. _

"_Stop." His voice was laced with oppressed anger, "Lying. To me."_

_I wheeled around on my heels. "I am NOT lying." There was quiet from the living room._

_I waited for the sounds to resume before continuing in a stinging hiss. "Look. It's none of your business anyway. So just butt out!" I felt embarrassed. Why was he pursuing this so adamantly? Could he not tell that this was an area I chose to avoid? _

_With damn good reason too!_

_He froze at the venom with which I spoke. I began to regret the reckless emotion behind my words._

_However justified I felt in my emotions, was of no matter to him if I refused to disclose the details as to why I harbored such feelings._

_There was a pause. I fidgeted, cowering under his probing stare._

"_Look, Ax, I-" I began. His face resumed the hardness. His jaw tightening and his brow lowering dangerously. _

"_No. Don't worry 'bout it." His voice was quiet and controlled. "It isn't my business unless you want it to be. And clearly, that isn't the case."_

_He observed me with guarded eyes before leaving to the others._

_I felt about two centimeters tall._

And there you have it.

There goes Naminé Snow. Messing up one of the only potentially positive things in her life.

Can I be someone else now?

No seriously.

Yeah okay.

He may have tried to talk to me again since then.

But I was scared. How can I face him with nothing but lies?


	14. Stairwell Indecision

**Yay! You have not all forsaken this story! Thanks to those who endured the four month hiatus! c:**

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 14

I should not be left alone. It just reminds me of how little progress I've made.

Its one thing to be content and even tempered when you're with people who love you and are fun and entertaining… people who distract you.

But when I'm alone…

No one can protect me from that horrible person.

The person who won't let me forget.

The one who loves to pick and scratch and peel away the best of someone; until only the worst pieces remain.

The one who insists on reliving only the worst parts of life. Constantly replaying snippets of memory like some chilling horror film; over and over. Never relenting, never softening; insisting on only the most terrible and despairing remembrances on a continuous loop, each reminding one of the other.

Basically the worst playlist ever.

That person who knows **everything** I've been through. The good, the bad, and the worse then the bad.

I don't know why she is so singularly obsessed with that which makes me cringe, even as only the thinnest echo of a recollection. She becomes fixated. Focusing on what went wrong, theorizing on what could have been, imagining how she might have behaved to achieve a different end, reprimanding me for my inadequacy. All the abuse drives me to a bad place.

She was the one who made me look down when I walked.

She made me 'sick'.

She shook my confidence.

She could make me hate myself like no one else could.

She knew I wasn't good enough. 'Cause she knew everything about me.

'_You're ugly. Don't look up. Maybe people won't notice you're disgusting face.'_

'_Stop eating. You barely fit in that dress as it is.'_

'_You are boring. Don't talk to them. They don't want to hear it.'_

'_She's better then you. That's why she gets to be happy.'_

'_You're stupid. No one wants to listen.'_

'_Don't bother; you can't succeed without someone doing it for you.'_

'_Why would he stay? For you? Ha!'_

And yet, I couldn't shake her. I couldn't give her a piece of my mind and forget everything she said. I could do nothing to curb her monumental effects on me.

She had my ear as surely as she shaped my thoughts.

I spent years trying to free myself of her judgment and her influence, and though I had had some success while I was strong and confident and secure… I was close to reverting to her guidance. Slowly… Allowing her to creep back into my head.

If nothing else, I could say that she has always been there.

Only she knows what I've suffered. Sometimes I think it's all she knows.

I can't stop her. I can't do anything to shut her out.

How do you conquer yourself…without loosing?

No one knew about her. She remained quite quiet whilst in the companies of others. Only occasionally peeping out of the darkest corners of my mind to mouth doubt into my decisions, or demoralize me bit by bit.

She knew how to evade detection. I was the only one who knew about her in full.

She was the worst kind of abuser.

She let me wander away when I wanted. Allowing me to put her aside when with others, so that I would gain back some of my confidence. While away, I would come to fancy myself as happy. And that's what others saw. They all thought that Naminé was happy. She always had a smile and a laugh ready for her friends.

That's the thing about smiles though. How do you know if they're still there when you turn away from them? What happens when they're left alone? Do they linger?

Mine goes away when there is no one to charm it for me.

And so I would return to myself at the end of the day. Full with self assurance and cheerfulness. And that's when she would strike.

Right when I was starting to hope, to dream, to laugh… She would swoop in and cut me down. Passively beating me into submission. Systematically poking and prodding, and gnawing away any and all positive feelings. Basking in the silence of my internalized cries for rescue.

She only let me go, because she knew I'd come back.

She's all I knew.

Where else could I return to?

* * *

Two days had passed since the 'incident' with Seifer. Two since the fiasco with Axel.

Friday was coming up with alarming speed and I wasn't sure where I stood with Axel.

We didn't have class again till…Now.

Well, not now. In 15 minutes.

So, naturally. I am hiding in the stairwell outside the classroom.

You see, the nature of the class we're in is as such. Classes are Monday and Wednesday mornings at 10am. The Monday class is a seminar, and Wednesday is a class lecture.

Thankfully, I'm hobbling around without my crutches now. And my bruises have dulled to a pale yellow discoloration.

All the classrooms are on the second floor or higher.

And…I don't like elevators.

I hadn't seen Axel this morning, having spent the night at Kairi's. I hope he didn't show up at my door. But then again…Why would he…

I'm not sure if we're speaking…Or fighting…

Forgetting and forgiving are two very different things.

Is this a 'forgive and forget' situation?

Or just a forget situation?

Or…a situation?

UGH.

I stood facing the corner of the deserted stairwell, inspecting the graffiti etched into the fire extinguisher. I wasn't in danger of being stumbled upon by other students. They are all just lazy enough to take the elevators up one story.

I sighed loudly to myself. I guess I'd _have_ to go to class.

I had been postponing long enough so that I'd be assured the presence of other people in the classroom if I were to go there. But I didn't want to get there before Axel.

Here's my reasoning:

Who ever gets there first is charged with the task of saving a seat for their companion. This under the assumption that they want to be near to said companion.

So, if I were to get to class first…I would save a seat for Axel and have to prevent any classmates from taking said chair. However, said seat would then have the expectation of being occupied by another being. The intended occupant, Axel, would then either decide to validate my reservation of chairs, or would sit elsewhere…Leaving me to awkwardly allow another student to sit there after insisting that it was saved to another.

On the other hand, if he gets there first…

If Axel wanted to move on from our spat, he'd hold a seat for me.

But if we are in fact 'warring', I'll be left to my own seat garnering abilities. Away from his person.

In this way, I'll be able to determine the state of things between us at present, and thus be able to judge what way it is best to act.

I know I know…Seating politics suck.

And what's more, I think Axel is prone to perpetual tardiness… Or at least, not afraid of cutting it close on time. This ascertained from Monday morning, and several telling jabs and jokes by Kairi, Demyx, and their friends, targeting Axel's apparent inability to manage time effectively.

Says something about how fucked up I am that I feel the need to think this through so intensely.

So here I am… Standing in a deserted stairwell fifteen minutes before class wondering exactly who this S.L. is, and if he/she still ' 3 's' J.R. I am resigned to only entering the classroom fifteen minutes after the class' commencement.

I should have brought a game of Sudoku… Though I suppose I could just pass the time by knocking my head against the wall until thirty minutes have crawled by. The thought has occurred to me more then once. But then again, I would probably disable myself from utilizing the brainpower to play Sudoku ever again…

I let my forehead fall onto the edge of the casing and released a noise of frustration.

After a moment of indecision I swung my bag in front of me and reached in until I fished out a sharpie pen.

I let my bag slip to the floor and put the cap to my lips.

I peered around the stairwell behind me, up the stairs, down the stairs… No one in sight.

I uncapped the black marker, immediately bombarded by the pen's potent fumes emanating off the felt tip. Permanent marker… There's no erasing this… What if someone saw me… Could I get in serious trouble for this? What's the worst that could happen… The school would make me paint over it?

Or assassinate me…

Nah. I'm not famous enough to be assassinated. They'd just murder me.

How famous do you have to be to be assassinated anyway? I mean, as opposed to just being murdered. I guess they technically mean the same thing, but the connotation…

Screw it. No one's here. And if S.L. got away with it, then so could I!

"You know they fine people for defacing campus property."

"Sssshi-" The pen flipped from my grip. I twisted my hips quickly to avoid the tip which threatened to swipe against my black and white checked skinny jeans, my black shear, dual layered, baby doll top flowing out with the wind of my movement, the tie around string whipping softly into my side. In the lou of marring my ensemble, the pen instead clacked to the floor.

The sound echoed dramatically in the formerly deserted stairwell.

I whipped around to the voice behind me. Shit indeed.

"He-Hey Axel."

Curse the awkwardness.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! **

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	15. Lips

**:**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

Hello karma. Is that you I see lurking in the corner?

Yeah. I see you.

You must have had fun thinking this one up huh?

Knowing that I could avoid confrontation of any degree for as long as possible, you of course saw an opportunity to screw with me. As such, you sent the object of my confliction straight at me.

Bitch.

Yeah. I said it.

BITCH.

"He-Hey Axel," I licked my parched lips. _Don't look at the floor. You're not guilty of anything._

_Right?_

He shifted his weight from right to left. "Naminé," he mirrored me and licked his bottom lip.

The silence descended as we both regarded one another apprehensively.

I now had two options. Wait till he said something, allowing the atmosphere to further tense around us, or risk speaking up. I was afraid of speaking at the same time as him. I hate when that happens…

I decided to chance it.

Just as I sucked in air to begin, he appeared to be preparing to speak.

We both snapped our mouths shut. A pregnant pause pounded against my ears.

"What were you going to say?" He asked.

"Uh, nothing, please go ahead!" I blurted.

"Oh, uh… Are you sure?" His expression appeared unsure…

"Y-yeah," I laughed uneasily.

He cracked a grin. I felt the tension disperse, if only a little bit.

What a wonderful smile... He has great teeth. White and even, punctuated by pale pink gums. He must floss regularly. And as a bonus, his canines were exceptionally defined and sharp. Personal preference prefers them this way. I ran my tongue along the surface of my teeth, felling the sharpness of my own canines. Wouldn't it be nice to be bitten by those fangs…

I licked my lips again.

I found myself studying his lips.

They were a bit thin proportionately, but they worked on his angular face. His lips were so expressive, despite their slight form. Curving seductively, hardening dramatically…

When he spoke, his lips moved gracefully, precisely, never moving extraneously. Succinctly caressing the sounds they let forth, mouthing life into words and still telling so much more through their intention.

I had seen them invite smiles and inspire fear, I had watched them coax laughter and incite palpitations in the heart…

I watched his lips move. Parting and pressing together. Rounding and extending, then closing again. I was mesmerized.

"Naminé?" My eyes slipped from his lips to lock with expecting eyes. I felt the absence of my expression half a moment too late.

Disappointment sailed into his searching eyes. "Are you listening?" he questioned. His voice had a slight edge in it. Annoyance.

"No, I'm sorry… I was… distracted," I wonder if the heat I feel is evident on my face, "What were you saying?" I bit my lower lip so it stung.

He seemed to scrutinize me for a moment. For a second, I thought I saw something like sadness sweep over his features, but it was gone from my sight just as fast. "It's nothing. I'll see you around."

He turned down the steps.

I stood for a moment trying to process.

"You're not going to class?" Was the first thread I grasped hold of.

"Not today," he continued leisurely down the steps. But something was off. His hands were in the pockets of his faded black skinnies and his dark green and black flannel was taught over his upper body, as though he was tensing his shoulders more then usual. His slate grey vans scuffed the edges of the steps as he slowly descended.

I had done something stupid. I missed something important. Had my wandering mind been confused as some kind of rejection?

DAMN HORMONES.

I heard his steps begin on the final turn of stairs of the stairwell.

My feet moved before I knew what words would come forth.

Something told me that a moment was slipping past. One of those important moments, that looking back, I would realize had had so much potential riding on it.

If I let him leave like this, Axel and I would have missed a crucial moment. I think its one that determines much more then one might think. If allowed, we would both accept what had just passed as the state of us. Leaving the situation unresolved would result in surrendering any hope of becoming something beyond friends. Or as I referred to them, intimate strangers.

I knew I couldn't let him go if I could do something to stay his judgment of us. Of me.

He had to know… Know what? I don't even really know, but he had to know that there was more to know. He **had** to know.

I was detached, I knew it. But I had something to offer, and I could feel that he was worth the effort of healing. He was someone I needed. And what's more, he was someone I wanted. Those sorts of people don't come around often, and if you have one in your sights, you should do anything you can to keep them in your life.

"Axel! Wait!" My ballet flat clad feet tripped down the stairs with uncharacteristic agility, my waist length hair ripping behind me against gravity. I felt adrenaline surge through my body, lashing into my muscles, and raising into my throat. I **had** to catch him. And it had to be now.

As I reached the mid level landing I seized the guide rail to control my turn, pivoting as my foot hit the ground and then immediately striking the next step.

He turned around as I came hurtling down the steps.

I fought to keep myself upright as I forced my body to absorb the momentum of my sprinting, halting abruptly two steps from the ground level where he presently stood. My left foot was throbbing, and I was 90% sure that I had split the stitches with the strenuous burst of activity, but the adrenaline kept my knee from shaking from the pressure I was putting on the fragile skin. I shifted my weight over my right foot.

We stood as though caught by the other for what seemed like minutes, hours even, but in actuality couldn't have been more then a couple seconds. Each staring blankly at the other, with worlds of thoughts cascading off us; sinking wordlessly into a forever frozen moment of life. Whatever happened in the next minute, or in the years following now, I knew that this moment would always be there in my memory, permanently seared into my heart.

We don't always pick what we remember of our experiences. Like childhood memories. When we are very small, we rarely remember things which are later described to us as having great meaning, like the first time we stood, or spoke; if we retain any memories of our earliest years, they tend to be seemingly arbitrary. My first memory is of lying on my father's chest as he slept, breathing in and out evenly, my mother tracing my arm lightly as she lay beside him, smiling softly and singing tunelessly to me, or perhaps both of us.

To anyone else, this may seem like just a random memory. And I suppose it is. It only became a significant instance when it became a rare moment to my recollection.

But it doesn't end there. Try to remember a day in your life even just a year ago. Not just a recounting of events that passed, but an actual 'in the moment' memory. A memory where you can specifically recount how you felt, what you were thinking, and what minutiae were occurring.

These snapshots of life are hard to keep hold of for most, and so they become special when they withstand the test of time without deteriorating into the oblivion of our untapped mind.

Whatever happened beyond this instance, I knew in my heart and in my head that I would forever have this memory to look back into.

I caught up with my breathing at last, taking in one steadying breath before speaking.

"I'm sorry I can't just let you in," Wow I was really doing this, "I hardly think of it myself. I can't… If I did I could never break free of it. I want so badly to put… everything behind me, and to do that I need to put some distance between myself and it." I felt the emotion push against my sinuses. I flicked my gaze up to curb the tears which were rapidly gathering on my lower lash line. "And no matter how much I try, I keep running into it, and if I were to delve back into all that… that pain and… I don't know if I could get away from it again. So maybe I could… Could tell you about it… But I can't just drop everything I've built up and come out with it all at once, I need… time or… I don't know. Just know that…" The emotion was catching up fast, pulling on my vocal cords, making it hard to speak. I stole myself and looked down, stubbornly continuing. "Just know that…Don't think that it's you," my voice was threatening to break so I paused. I took in a shaky breath, "Just know—Know that— "

I was silenced.

Axel took the two steps separating us in a single step, placing his hands on either side of my face, his fingers brushing into my hair, tilting my face up ever so slightly. And then his lips were melded to mine.

The kiss was soft and chaste, but I felt the spark ignite. It was instantaneous. My hands found their way to his and slid to rest over his wrists. His lips began to move against mine.

I was overwhelmed. Whether by my admission to Axel, or because of Axel himself, I wasn't sure, probably some combination of both. But in either case, I was alive in the moment. Axel. Axel was the moment, and I was wrapped up in him entirely.

I leaned into him and he accommodated our balance by dragging his hands down my back and wrapping his arms around my waist, pressing me into him so that we stood together as one. He broke the contact of our lips and rested his forehead against mine, our noses a breath apart. I watched his lips for a moment before my eyes flicked up to his. His eyes appeared to be closed. Long auburn lashes curving away from his strong cheekbones. He moved so that our cheeks brushed past one another before he lifted his chin. I closed my eyes and turned into the contact, lightly kissing the corner of his jaw. I heard a low growl emanate from his chest, the vibrations continuing through my chest. I shivered slightly and brought my arms around the back of his shoulders so they bent around his arms and hooked over his shoulders. I traced his jaw line with my nose and placed an identical kiss on the other edge of his jaw.

Axel dipped his chin once again and found my lips. This time there was something more in the kiss.

The sensuality melted into the seduction. His lips moved languidly and passionately against my own. So soft and sure, entirely graceful as I had anticipated.

I sighed against his lips, relaxing my posture into his even further. I felt his muscles tense in response. My only warning for his next action was the grin he fused into the movements of his lips a millisecond before I found my feet off the ground. I gasped as Axel moved us from the steps to the landing in one fluid motion. The suddenness of the action caused me to loose my footing momentarily and I fell into the wall behind me.

I was given no moment to collect myself before Axel followed, lips catching mine without hesitation or falter. His hands pressed into the wall on either side of me as he leaned into the kiss which had been renewed with new fervor.

I can't describe the excitement true chemistry between two people can ignite with even the smallest of touches. And a kiss… A kiss can be one of the most amazing sensations you'll ever experience in love.

My hands shot out to him, trailing his sides and rounding over his shoulder blades slowly before coming around to his chest to find the color of his shirt. I felt the tips of my lips curve up as my blind fingers found the first button of his shirt. I unfastened it by hooking my finger behind it and pulling gently till it slipped from the button hole.

I'm not sure he noticed my mischievous actions, but he took advantage of my distracted lips and deepened the kiss. His tongue pressed against the gap of my lips. My fingers paused briefly as I focused on the rhythm of the kiss. His lips and tongue moved nimbly and agilely against my own, trilling and sliding sensuously about my mouth.

I smiled into the kiss, relishing in the pleasure of the closeness.

The door to the stairwell swung open. The outside light rushing in over the scene we had created as though it were some strict chaperone that had caught us… well doing exactly what we had been doing.

Two girls in very tall heels stood stunned by the sight of us for a moment. I felt a blush rise in my cheeks and vaguely wondered how they might fare with the stairs in those strappy death traps they called shoes.

The girls giggled and one of them apologized quickly before they began rushing up the stairs, casting curious glances over their shoulders. We listened until the clicking of their shoes disappeared with the creak of another door.

Axel caught my eye and cracked another grin before straightening. "One sec," he whispered, kissing my lips quickly before taking off up the stairs (two at a time), he reappeared a moment later with my bag slung across his chest.

"Shall we?" His hand found mine and smiled back at me as he pulled me out the door.

Was the sun shinning? Or was that Axel?

* * *

**FINALLY. Right? Hahaa c:**

Well, I hope you all enjoyed that bit of floffy fluff~~

**PleasePleasePlease Review! I cannot tell you how important feedback is to me, and I truly appriciate it when a reader takes the time to give me their opinion.**

**WOO! See you in chapter 16!**


	16. Gonna Be

Chapter 16

"Why are you so nervous?" Kairi asked, examining her cuticles with a medium amount of indifference.

I tossed her a terse glance and mumbled something about having progressive RLS (restless leg syndrome). I was very agitated at that moment, and everything from her being there, to her careless posture seemed to be making my state of nervousness worse. She lay slung across my bed, hair spilling over the side as her head lay at the foot of the bed. Her thin legs were bent to the side and collapsed upon each other, her body twisted to allow her limbs to release fully into gravity.

She currently cut a very seductive picture. Now, I say this as her sister, who is in no way attracted to her in that way, just calling it as she sees it.

We were going out tonight. It was the first Friday of the semester, and this apparently, added up to one thing in a college girls' social life: Party.

It's not like I'd never done it. But every club I'd ever gone too had necessitated an entourage of chaperons… Courtesy of Seifer… And Sora had never wanted to go to club clubs. We just went dancing.

This would just be 'us'. 'Us' included a very small group. Only me, and Kairi, and Demyx, and… *dreamy sigh* Axel…

And the glory of the heavens did shine upon the blessed…

His name instantly smacked a goofy smile onto my face.

Kairi had come over to get ready with me. The trouble being that she came over with her hair and make-up all finished, and only had need to change her outfit (which took all of three minutes… okay, two; including the minute it took us to figure out how to place the twisty neckline and sleeves that made up her top) to be ready for an evening of college life goodness.

I on the other hand, had over slept my nap and was now rushing to look as awesome as she did. And so, there I was zipping about the room, while trying not to poke myself in the eye with my eye shadow brush or trip over my ridiculous shoes, which in retrospect, I should have put on last.

Kairi was dressed like a fashion model in ravers clothing. She wore a fitted short sleeve lace vest over a long sleeve cross over crop top so that her flat stomach could be seen through the obscure-ment of the lace vest. For 'pants' she wore black shorts and long black and green stripped stockings that reached well above the middle of her thighs. Her shoes were clunky black platform boots with several large silver buckles running up the sides to her knees. Who says you can't be adorable and creative while being so sexed up?

I use that word with all due affection.

No, seriously.

Kairi could be sexy and cute and clever all at the same time. That is a skill that cannot be taught.

I had opted for faux leather high-waisted shorts over silver leggings. My shirt… had once been a t-shirt… But after I spent an hour with it and my scissors… It now resembled the scrap fabric that passed for female video game characters' clothing. I left only one of the sleeves remotely intact and the length had been chopped off about an inch below my bust line. The remainder of the shirt had been introduced to my fabric pens and then met with several dozen safety pins (which is coincidentally how it kept from slipping off my torso). Underneath I wore a sports bra to make sure nothing I didn't want showing would do so. My shoes were four inch platform boots, perhaps not ideal for clubbing, but necessary to protecting my heeling (re-heeling) foot.

A doctor's disapproving face flashed through my mind. I had been told specifically not to do any strenuous activity until it had mended a little more sturdily.

…

Well. I'll just spend more time at the bar then on the floor.

Oh great. Now I'm a bar fly.

Mother will be so glad to hear. Huh… I should call her at some point…

My phone buzzed rudely from its position atop my window sill, where I had left it to charge.

For one wild second I thought it was my mom, calling to reprimand my behavior, lifestyle choices, and generally inability to keep a man in my life.

The mascara brush fell from the counter; I managed to keep it from the floor by grabbing it with my open hand, leaving a dark line across my palm. I cursed loudly.

Kairi suddenly found the hem of her sock incredibly interesting. Though, from observing her spastically shaking shoulders, I suspected she was laughing.

Why do my reflexes always kick in at the most awkward times? Srsly. I can't hope to make it across a flat even surface without falling down a mysteriously located flight of stairs, but when my make-up is about to hit the floor, shit gets real. I set the brush down and rinsed the mark from my hand carefully before traipsing over to my phone.

The last thing I needed was a great smear of black across my face. Yeah universe. I saw that coming. I'm on to you.

The text was from Demyx.

**_Hey Nams. Tell Kairi she left her cell in my car. You guys almost ready?_**

I relayed the message to Kairi and giggled for absolutely no reason. Okay, I was excited.

Fancy that. Me, excited about going out.

I smiled at Kairi, feeling the thrill in my eyes as her expression met my enthusiasum.

_**Out in a sec! c:**_

I pulled my phone from the charger and slipped it into the pocket of my shorts, thankful that the small device was so slight.

I double checked to make sure my I.D., house key, debit card, and some safe money were tucked safely on my person.

"Let's go!" I sang at Kairi. She bounced up and landed gracefully next to me.

"Wait! First things first!" She waved her pink digital camera in front of me.

I stared blankly at it for a moment, before rolling my eyes and exaggerating a frustrated sigh. Her jab to my ribs quickly morphed my face into a toothy grin as she held the camera away from us.

"One, two…" she clicked the capture button.

I blinked heavily, trying to dispel the fireflies from my vision as Kairi examined the photo shown in the display screen.

"It's not too dark is it," I questioned with unabashed sarcasm.

"We can go now!" She flashed me a smile that was, in many ways, as dazzling as her overzealous camera's flash. I didn't even have to ask to know that I'd be washed out in that picture.

It probably looked like one of those spirit portraits, where people pay a bunch of money to have a 'special' camera take pictures of the spirits who surround them. Me being the spirit.

People would think my sister was being haunted…

Kairi's arms were suddenly locked around me as she crushed me with her lithe limbs.

"Oh! I love you too sister dear…" I patted her on the back, confused by the sudden outburst of affection. "You okay there?" I cautiously returned the embrace.

She pushed away from me and held me at arm's length, a ridiculous grin making her look like a particularly pleased Cheshire Cat.

Her shoulders worked themselves up to her ears as she regarded me. I raised my eyebrows in a questioning expression. She let out an audible breath and let her shoulders drop. My eyebrows did the same.

"I'm just glad to have my Naminé back." She hooked a stray wisp of hair behind my ear and pulled me into a one armed hug.

I punched her arm playfully, "Sure thing bro." I winked up at her before twisting out of her grasp and seizing her wrist. "Now let's get out of here lady!" I felt a surge of excitement well up within me. The kind that grants credence to those little impulse decisions we make on the fly. I could feel it. Tonight was going to be… something.

I tugged her forward as I tripped to the door (not literally… for once). Seizing the knob and barely taking time to twist the basic lock of the door as I whisked us out of my apartment.

We stumble-ran (my way of describing running in heels) from the door without waiting to see it close all the way.

I released Kairi's arm and turned to face her without breaking stride, letting out an exclamation of pure joy and dancing as best I could while running. She met my antics with an easy laugh, and threw her head back with an answering cry.

We tumbled and raced through the halls of the dorm complex without checking our childish excitement or lowering our eager voices as we cat called senselessly and belted lyrics of party anthems and favored dance mixes.

I was flushed with breathless excitement by the time we reached the street. I came to a halt before the curb, and had to shuffle forward ever so slightly when Kairi's arms blundered into my waist and swung us both in wild twirl.

The momentum released us both back a few paces, and I hit my back step at an awkward angle, my ankle rolling reflexively. My good foot quickly scraped back to catch my balance, but I had already hit something solid. Two strong hands had me under the arms and held my tilted figure against a hard body. I looked up into laughing blue eyes.

I laughed as Demyx released me to my feet. Kairi galloped up to him and flung her arms around his neck.

"Hiya!" She chirped happily, rising up on her toes to place a kiss on his jaw.

His answer was a laugh, "Hey beautiful, did you start the party without us?" He smiled into her sparkling eyes.

"Yeah, gotta say, I'm feeling a bit left out after that spectacle."

A titillating shock ripped from my chest down to my toes and then back up again. A voice to melt the stars caused me to whip my body around without a second thought.

My smile was instantaneous from the first word. Scratch that, the first syllable. Any excitement I had felt I had felt doubled. Then tripled.

"Axel!" I rocked forward on my toes, reminding myself just in time that I was too old to simply fling myself into someone's arms simply because they showed up.

Damn it.

My enthusiasm hadn't gone unnoticed. Kairi and Demyx began walking to the car, animatedly discussing the club Kairi was taking us to.

My focus was zoned in on Axel. He brightened at the attention. My smile widened.

"You look…" his scorching green eyes raked over my body. He laughed and looked away.

Was he blushing? A sensation of electricity shot down to my gut. My face flushed, but a great sense of confidence burned in my soul. A shy smirk replaced my silly grin, even if the rest of my face remained frozen in excitement.

"I look…?" I asked, stepping into the space between us. The tension was delicious. I looked at him through my lashes, blinking slowly.

He noticed the change in my manner, something in his eyes looked determined as he met my burning gaze. He squared his strong shoulders and exhaled. "Incredible. Nothing shy of absolutely… Unbelievable."

Something awoke from deep within me. It purred in self pleased satisfaction. I licked my upper lip.

Tonight was going to be something alright.

* * *

**YUSH. The semester is out! **

**I apologize for the insanely long absence of an update... I can only ammend by offering this chapter to you all. **

**Please know that I update when I have the proper inspiration, and can assure my conscious that I have not used my recreational writing as a means of procrastination.**

**I should also like to thank those who reviewed while I was away. Your words helped spur me into action! I mean it. One honest interest kicks my mood up no matter where it is prior to seeing a review.**

**Hope to keep you happy c:**

**Happy holiday season lovelies!**


	17. Into the Press

**Extra-long update for you my lovelies!**

**Consider this my holiday gift to you all~**

* * *

Chapter 17

"Kairi?"

"Yeah?" Kairi jerked her gaze from the downtown strip and twisted around to look at Demyx as he drove slowly up the crowded street.

"This club we're going to…"

"Rush," she supplied.

"…Rush. What uh… Have you been there before?" Demyx's voice had cautious edge marking it.

I could predict the furrow forming in her pretty brow as she responded, "No. My friend recommended it to me…said you couldn't find a better dance club anywhere this side of Castle Oblivion."

"This friend… How do you know her?"

"He's in advanced patterning with me. Why?" She was clearly confused about this line of conversation. I too wasn't entirely sure of what he was leading up to.

"He?" Demyx seemed to have hit a key point. Was this a jealousy thing? Didn't seem likely… Kairi was about as likely to be unfaithful as a Republican was to voluntarily suggest a tax increase.

"He…" Kairi had adopted a cautious overtone now, clearly miffed by her lack of understanding in the line of inquiries.

"Aha!" Demyx concluded.

Axel snorted after Demyx grinned at him in the rear view mirror. Both seemed tickled by whatever had been realized.

Kairi frowned at them both before looking to me. I shrugged and returned her perplexed look with one of my own.

"I don't understand," I finally ceded, seeing that no explanation was going to be volunteered from these giggling boys.

"Kairi, is your friend perhaps… gay?" Axel asked, without looking away from me. His overstretched smile was one of amusement.

"Yeah. Why do you ask?" She answered simply.

Ah. I looked back at the strip.

"We're in West Twilight Town, aren't we?" I asked. I was answered by a renewed set of chortling.

This part of town is known for its diverse population. And its nightlife is hardly confined to seven nights a week. It is also known to be a hot spot for the residential gay population of the surrounding areas.

I laughed. Kairi whipped back to me looking impatient for an explanation.

"Kairi, we're going to a gay club."

* * *

I was still giggling as we stood in line.

Axel smiled at me and guided me closer to the line as a group of girls clacked out of the club.

I had absolutely no problem with going to a gay club. But I was infinitely amused that it had been a surprise to us all. I couldn't help imagining the faces we would have worn had we not realized where we were going until we reached the door.

Every time I thought I had suppressed my amusement, a smile would crack onto my glossy lips and I would start up again. At least Axel was amused by me. Better then annoyed. Like a certain relative of mine…

Not everyone had found my persistent penchant for laughing to be oh so charming.

Demyx seemed as close to mad laughter as I was, only barely binding his laughter to his teeth by clenching his powerful jaw with more force than perhaps was necessary.

I snuck a peak at his rigid features, frozen to avoid the victory of unabashed hilarity. It was more than I could take. I doubled up in a fit of almost painful laughter, barely breathing enough to gasp out a chorus of stifled giggles as my legs threatened to give out beneath me. I fell into Axel who grabbed my flailing arm to steady me.

Kairi's face flushed anew, and I saw the tips of Demyx's lips twitch surreptitiously as he fought the urge to laugh at his embarrassed girlfriend. Axel was suddenly taken over by a noisy coughing fit as he tucked me under his arm. Demyx smacked him on the back a couple of times.

I saw Kairi glare at me even through the tears that had clouded my gleeful eyes. I turned towards the street and took several clearing breaths before wiping (carefully) at my eyes and willing my lips into an ambivalent expression.

I turned to look at her and had to repeat the process before I was over my laughing ailment.

Kairi was thoroughly annoyed with my antics and struggling to remain composed enough to refrain from lashing out at me.

I'll admit that I knew how far I was pushing her. Kairi may be a friend of mine, but I am also her little sister, and that position requires me to be obnoxious and aggravating to her at least 30% of the time. Anyone with an older sibling will understand this.

* * *

By the time we breeched the doors of the club it was well past 9pm. Our absurdly early arrival (in my opinion) was mollified by the club's current promotion, in which the cover charge was waived if you entered before 10pm. The intent was to fill the club up earlier with persons who would make up for their free admission in alcoholic beverages, buying more and more as they became more and more drunk, so that by the time they stumbled out of the club around 3am they would be so smashed that they would spend at least an hour trying to remember which way to get home, and wake up the following evening with a killer headache and only a faint recollection of their alcohol induced glee from the previous night.

For my part, if I could save $25 and club for free, I was in.

The club was spectacular. And clearly this friend of Kairi's knew quality when he saw it. The initial entryway opened on both sides into lounge areas. The space to the left was lit in cool tones of violet and deep blue, the gels on the lights casting moody shadows over the short bar which lined the inner wall, stocked with expensive looking bottles and delicate campaign glasses. The bartender was dressed sharply in a pin striped vest over a grey collared shirt; his hair was carefully slicked with just a few locks falling artfully into his eyes which appeared to be covered by neon blue contact lenses. The remainder of the suave area was dotted with small round tables and tall bar stools.

The area to the right was more intimate. Not in _that_ way… Or at least not yet. The feel was that of an Arabian harem. With low chaise sofa and huge cushions in varying shades of warm and vibrant hues. The ceiling and walls were bedecked in scarves and sheers that obscured outsiders from seeing the inner sanctum were people appeared to be smoking hookah in halfway partitioned alcoves. Attendants in vaguely Middle Eastern ensembles ambled about with swinging hips and mysterious eyes.

"Care for a drink?" Demyx called, leaning into Kairi as a protective arm circled her exposed waist. Kairi grinned up at him and looked around to Axel and I. I couldn't hope to hear her, but I could predict what she was asking, and was able to read her lips as she asked if we wanted to join her.

I smiled and shook my head while pointing to my wrist which lacked the plastic green bracelet distributed to all persons over 21. Kairi laughed at the realization and smiled. I sensed she would refrain from drinking when I couldn't, so I rolled my eyes (which was at odds with my patronizing smile) and gestured for them to go ahead.

Demyx slipped his arm up to drape around Kairi's shoulders before they turned and disappeared into the lounge to the left, Demyx laughing at something Kairi called into his ear.

"Did you want to go?" I yelled to Axel, motioning after Kairi's and Demyx's retreating figures. I didn't mind exploring on my own for a bit. What kind of trouble could I get into at a gay club?

Shut up.

It was Axel's turn to roll his eyes now. His response was to move past me, taking hold of upper arm as he went by, continuing down the length of the hallway.

I stumbled after him and wondered if he could even hear my trilling laugh as I happily shadowed him.

The end of the entryway (if you were not sufficiently distracted prior to getting there) opened into the main space of the club. Another bar, this one longer and staffed by several employees took up the space to the left of the room. I suspected it connected to the smaller bar through the door at the center of the many taps and shelves.

The remainder of the room was lined by low sofas that were placed in square formations to create a sense of segmentation between the continuous seating area. Above this was a narrow upper level whish looked out onto the wide dance floor. The DJ was set up at the far north of the floor, slightly elevated from the stage where several dancers were invited to dance. Two circular platforms were placed to either side of the center stage, though slightly in front, where two Go-Go dancers provided visual stimulation for wandering eyes.

I gaped at the high ceiling where a series of flashing lights spun and blinked wildly about, illuminating the shining faces of random dancers for fleeting moments before flicking away and again returning them to the carnal darkness as their bodies thrashed and swayed in the press of bodies.

The sound was unbelievable. The bass was rocking through my chest, evoking a primal smolder to arise in my nerves. My heartbeat felt oddly slow, as though it had paced itself to accommodate the lasciviously pulsating beat. It was like life and desire compressed into a singular sensation. It lit a fire somewhere unknown in my body. I felt so… Powerful. Without thinking about it I squared my shoulders and straightened my posture, ready to engage in the freedom and wild thrill of dancing.

I pressed briefly into Axel's side and slid my fingers through his before sweeping into the fray. I didn't settle for the edges of the floor, I needed to be somewhere where I could feel the push of bodies moving about me, and where the air was warm and encapsulating. The heart of the dance floor was where you could be the freest. Axel did not pull away or resist my lead, but stepped in closer to me when the path to the center became thinner and required lithe maneuvering.

He seemed to sense my desire to get to the heart of the action. When I could no longer proceed he pressed past me to force our progress through the oblivious throng of undulating dancers.

His commanding figure was much more apt to creating a path for us. Whether conscious of doing it or not, the crowd parted for him as he appeared and allowed him easy access to the thick of the press. I may not be all that intimidating, but Axel sure was. All 6 foot something of him.

When he seemed satisfied with our relative location, he whipped around to me and began to sway and bend with the music. I followed suit and soon we were part of the perfect chaos that was the music and the dancers, the words and beat. Amazing it was, to be so wholly an individual, a single rhythmic being, and yet to be a part of something, a part of strangers all moving so close together and so in sync, without moving together at all. And to be part of Axel. Though he allowed some distance between us, we moved together. He did not lead me, and I did not guide him, but we moved together. It was as though we were on the same breath as our bodies rolled and writhed against one another. I wanted to say '_Yes! Exactly!'_ as we moved together, it just felt so absolutely right. An acute burning throbbed through my body, the beast in my chest purring with guiltless pleasure.

We moved like this for a long and yet timeless moment. The air took on a new pressure, a delightful tension that seemed to rip from my skin in silken barrages. My breath was heavy and sultry as it exited my lungs, and with every new intake of breath I felt a sharp continuation of this enlightened, yet primal will. And then my eyes were on Axel's, and his held mine with an intensity I had seen only once before. Soon his arms held me as surely as his eyes did, winding around waist and hips as he positioned his body against mine. This is what I wanted, nothing but Axel.

My hands wandered freely across his chest and abdomen before settling onto his shoulders. Our bodies slowed to a more even and sensual pace, something for only us. A new feeling took up residence with my desire, a feeling of quiet, a feeling of assured peace.

My eyes fell to his lips, my fingers reaching up to trace his bottom lip. His breath was pleasant and warm on my fingertips. I met his eyes once again and saw the reflections of what I felt there. Beautiful.

* * *

**Phew! Hope you liked it! Review please!**

**Oh, and just to clarify, the Go-Go dancers are not strippers. Just dancers. It's not _that_ kind of club…**

**Enjoy your holidays! c:**


	18. Pirate Fantasies

**Chapter 18**

Time seemed to stretch out endlessly as I gripped to this new sensation.

Axel made me feel new. Untainted. As though I hadn't been an oppressed child, or a confined fiancé, or a heartsick failure; as though I'd never been in love and this was the first time. I was brilliant with the glory of fresh love.

I wasn't afraid to admit it this time around. I knew there was no question of falling. I'd done that already. I was fathomlessly in love, with absolutely no inclination of resurfacing. If I could die in this crushing swell of adoration and affection I would be happy. If I could dive deeper into the heavy volumes of desire, I would, but I wasn't sure that was even possible.

It was slightly terrifying to know how hard and fast I'd fallen. But also so wonderfully reassuring to know that I was still so very capable of it.

In this breath of time, I was perfectly content. I did not breathe and I did not blink. So utterly and incandescently in love with everything in the world, and for one reason. All the events in time, mine and not mine, had led to at least this one amazing and purely beautiful thing; this terrifyingly honest and near perfect being, they had created Axel, my Axel.

* * *

A certain expanse of unquantifiable time passed between us before Kairi and Demyx appeared from the crush of flushed, half naked bodies. Judging from the brilliant color of Demyx's cheeks and the ridiculous smile adorning Kairi's face, they'd had a few drinks.

I myself finally felt the heat of my skin. It was embarrassingly palpable as it desperately fled my dehydrated body. My shirt stuck to my chest and sides in a way that would certainly disgust me when I was over my euphoria. My hair was slightly wet with the perspiration from my neck and I hastily swept it to the side so my neck could feel the relief of air, albeit hot air.

If only a great downward gust would favor me… No? Well, I cannot honestly think of complaining at this time…

I snuck a look up at Axel, whose close proximity and jealous hands made me flush scarlet under the eyes of my sister. He too had sustained the consequences of exertion. The sweat made his skin shine with unrestrained sex appeal as the wild lights careened across his taught muscles and angular features plunging his rakish grin into a mysterious darkness between their wild fleeting rays. His hair was weighted with the condensation in the air so that it hung around his face and off his shoulders in a glory of outstanding red.

I decided instantly that I liked his hair like this. Hanging complacently about his handsome face. Except that it wasn't really all that complacent… Even unstyled his hair appeared wild and untamable, as though he'd just recently returned from some epic sea faring adventure worthy of Homer's Odessy or perhaps Jack Sparrow himself.

Hmm… A pirate Axel… **No Naminé! Bad! No fantasizing about pirate role whilst play in public!**

I mentally filed the thoughts away for later consideration.

Though Axel's face was turned to Demyx, presumably in conversation, his body did not flinch from mine, nor shy from our contact in any measure. I could still see his sharp eyes in the flashing lights. They were lit up with a flurry of emotion which I recognized without a second thought. My hands flexed against his neck.

He peered sideways at me and unleashed he full charm of his slow, wolfish grin. I pressed my body into his ever so slightly, raising on my toes and thinking about pirates, before remembering the company. I moved against him so that my back was now against him and I could properly speak to Demyx and Kairi. Axel's arms remained around my waist the whole time refusing to surrender the kidnapped maiden...

**SRSLY NAMS. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.**

I shook my head in a vain attempt at clearing it. "The club must be making a pretty penny off you two, huh?" I yelled into the space preceding my sister and her pretty beau.

Kairi laughed brightly as she and Demyx adopted a similar sway to the one Axel and I had taken up. The kind of lazy sway that I would ordinarily insist was not proper dancing, but which did well to allow one to gather their breath without having to evacuate the dance floor in between dances.

To my surprise, Demyx seemed to blush an even brighter scarlet then the blush his buzz had previously inflicted. Kairi laughed louder, "Not really, the bartender took a liking to Demy's hair." She waggled her dainty eyebrows suggestively.

This was too much for Axel. He roared with laughter as Demyx attempted to make eye contact with the ceiling before finally offering a sheepish grin. "Open tab at the bar… Free drinks for the rest of the night," his hesitant smile pulled into one of pride. Axel's voice was still threaded with laughter as he congratulated Demyx on his fine 'persuasive' skills and warned Kairi to keep her hot commodity close.

"Naminé?" I looked up in a reflex response at the call of my name. My eyes searched blankly in the direction I had thought I had heard my name, but to no avail. The crush of bodies was dense with gleeful faces but none of them seemed to be expectant of my attention. I furrowed my brow and was about to write it off as something imagined or mistaken, when it came again, more sure this time, a call of recognition rather than disbelief.

"Naminé!" I was ready for it this time. I looked straight to the sound, twisting slightly away from Axel so that he took notice of my search. It took me a split second this time to locate the caller.

"Oh my… whoa…" I murmured under my breath. My eyes had landed upon a face that had starred in much of my young life. My once closest friend, Xion Stoner-Uchida.

* * *

**I am painfully aware of how inconsistent I am these days about updates. I feel an explanation is in order to all of you lovely people from whom I love to write for. **

**I am currently grappling with another story I've had in my head for some time. The trouble is that the idea keeps changing in my head so that I've now accumulated a small collection of prologue/ introductions for the various thoughts. **

**I will not abandon this story, as I do so want to give it the run it deserves, and believe me, the life of this story is not yet winding down. I simply wish to have the other tale on paper before I start to lose it. **

**Thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoyed this chapter (I sure had fun writing it)! c: **


	19. Elegant and Understated

Chapter 19

She was much the same way I remembered her, slight and pale with glossy raven hair and large liquid navy colored eyes, but her appearance was radically different from the shy porcelain doll she had once been. Her lips were stained with glossy crimson and her fair skin was spectacularly accentuated by a pretty red sweep across her cheeks, not to mention that her hair had been chopped and hacked all the way to her chin. She appeared as the modern day Snow White, a possessor of binary beauties, but with a chic hair cut rather than her once waist length locks.

I felt my eyes widen and my mouth fall open gracelessly at the sight of her. Mmm, that must look attractive Nams…

I struggled to gather my bearings and seal my mouth as she began weaving through the mass of dancers with me in sight. I blinked rapidly and foolishly tried to arrange my hair into some sort of order as she came closer. I forgot for a moment that I didn't have to impress her. Xion had never been deterred by such trifling things as appearance, she didn't care if I was found in a state of 'unkempt sodomy' as my mother had once called it. With effort I stopped my arms from such superfluous actions and moved to close the distance between us, tugging on Axel's hand so he would follow.

"Friend of yours?" Axel leaned into my ear, trailing me closely. I shivered as his breath blew across my ear and silently saved the sensation in my core.

Friend.

A smile split my face as I beamed up at him and nodded. He would like Xion, one of the few good memories I carried with me. An untainted friendship. Possibly the only one I'd carried to my new life.

I abandoned the ridiculous pretext of nervous politeness and bounded heedlessly up to the approaching girl.

"Xion!" I sang as I sailed into her, wrapping my arms around her neck, confident that she would not hold my enthusiasm against me. Any of my other 'school friends' would be embarrassed and abashed by such an uncouth greeting, though I suppose they'd be equally appalled by the location… but Xion returned the gesture with a laugh and an easy embrace.

I pulled away from her and she asked what I was doing there. I explained dismissively about blowing off steam after the first week of classes.

"You're attending locally?" her perfectly groomed dark eyebrows (some habits are hard to break) shot up, "I hadn't even heard you were back!"

"Well… Not back…" I shifted uncomfortably waving my hand uselessly. She thought my being back her meant my returning to the society scene. "I just… needed a new start."

Xion's eyes reflected something between understanding and question before flashing over to Axel with a knowing glance. She had enough tact to know that bringing up anything she might really want to ask me should not be done in the present, stunningly handsome, company.

I flushed anew and introduced the two hastily. Before things got awkward… Wait. I'm already here. Shut it. No internal self-deprecating humor. Its funnier out loud.

"Axel, Xion. Xion, Axel," I stepped to the side (colliding with a strange man without a shirt) as they clasped hands.

"Nice to meet you," Axel yelled with a grin on his beautiful face.

"You as well," Xion laughed. She cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brow, "You look familiar…"

I felt my eyebrows rise as I looked between the two, faintly apologizing to the person I had clumsily stumbled into.

Axel looked thoughtful after the initial surprise and frowned as if trying to remember something he hadn't realized he'd forgotten.

"Sorry," he released her hand, "I have a thing for faces and I don't recall meeting you."

Xion waved her hand in front of her face, "Never mind. I'm confusing you with someone else."

Someone else? How many red-headed giants does she know…?

She smiled again and turned to me, "So? What are you up to? Last I heard you had high-tailed it out of here to the lovely and mysterious Hallow Bastion. Fill me in on the in between?"

"Er…Looooong story, trust me," I leaned in a bit and lowered my voice as best I could against the thrashing of the overzealous bass, "I'll tell you about it another time, I promise," and surprisingly enough, I felt like I might.

She held my gaze for a fractional second and nodded in acceptance.

"Well," I started at Kairi's voice, "Demy and I are going to head out, can you catch a ride home Nams?" She gave me a look that told me to not traipse after her and her lover at this time.

That silly radish rose blush was back. "Oh! Uh- Well… You know the cabs are… And the bus. Yes. The bus. I took the bus once… Strange experience… The man in front of me kept trying to lick the woman next to him, and the odd thing was that she didn't seem much bothered by the attention. Maybe they knew each other, but she didn't have a ring on. Not that it matters I guess. But yeah, the bus."

Silence. And then…

"I can get you home later Nami! Besides, I'd love to hang out a bit, I was just about to head out to my next club," Xion offered.

"Oh-kay then, we'll see you two later," Demyx broke his perplexed stare, clapped Axel on the back and kissed me on the cheek. Kairi hugged us both and shook Xion's hand before the two disappeared into the crowd.

I turned back to Xion, "Next club?" I asked, "Are you on club crawl or something? You're not even 20 yet, are you?" I was fairly certain her birthday was in January…

She laughed heartily. "No, no! I probably should have mentioned that I'm a club promoter! My boyfriend's family owns a whole chain of restaurants and night clubs."

Boyfriend? "Oh! Uhm… Is it close by?"

"No, not really, but don't worry about it, I've got the limo with me," she waved her hand dismissively. Xion grew up in the same type of family as mine. Rich and emotionally damaged beyond hope. Somehow, I found it a slight bit hard to remember that she was still on that side of the glass wall.

"Oh sure," Axel added. I turned to him to gauge whether or not he was serious, after all, for all the wildly inappropriate fantasies I had built around him, I still knew very little about Axel's life, and even less about his past. I was surprisingly relieved when I was met with a poorly concealed grin and sparkling eyes.

Luckily, Xion seemed either not to care, or perhaps to just not notice.

"Yeah so, you can just catch a ride with me," she glanced at the sparkling time piece clasped around her bone white wrist. I was fairly certain there were some rather real diamonds affixed upon the softly glowing watch. "Actually I wasn't meant to stay here very long, just wanted to have a word with the management," she bit her lip, "It's so lucky I caught sight of you," she appeared thoughtful for a moment, "But then again, you've always been one to draw eyes."

Axel barked out a laugh and regarded Xion with an amused appreciation, "So where were you headed next? More promoting?"

Xion smiled back, "No, actually I was supposed to be off tonight, just going to go meet up with my boyfriend and some old friends. We should probably head out. Did you guys check any coats?"

"Er… No. Xion it's like 70 degrees outside and it cost like $20 to check anything."

"So?"

"We didn't check any coats."

* * *

The club Xion took us to was at about the near opposite side of town from the University. Cab fare from here to the dorms would basically be my rent check for the semester, and though I had no evidence to the contrary, I found myself praying that Xion would keep her word and take me home at the evenings end.

I also found myself sincerely hoping that I would not feel desperate to leave at any point before Xion wanted to.

One of the reasons I liked to be ultimately responsible for my own transportation is the fact that I maintain the agency of attendance duration to any given event. Basically, I can leave whenever I want without disrupting other people's evenings or making myself miserable by pretending to want to stay as long as my chauffer.

I realize this way of thinking officially classifies as a 'Negative Nancy' thought, but it's just how I work.

Doesn't mean I share these thoughts with the people whom are most at risk of inciting or experiencing these reactions… but there they are.

Incidentally, when Kairi and I were under the same roof as children, she actually insisted to the household at large that I be made to cater to a Negative Nancy Jar. The jar worked as follows: for every unnecessarily pessimistic or whiny comment I produced, or rather was caught saying, would require me to surrender to the jar the sum of two quarters. Or one piece of candy.

I always coughed up the money.

This reasoning would most certainly have warranted a tithe to the Negative Nancy Jar and produced ample opportunity for further violations.

I become increasingly mean spirited in my head as an unwanted situation progresses.

In any case, I digress.

Again.

My impression of the club was a mix of awe at the sheer size of it and a conflicting notion of indifference. A part of me, the part that grew up in a house nearly twice the size of this massive open space, was nearly immune to the grandeur of any building not built before the turn of the century. Of course, the other part of me, the one that had lived in nothing more than a hovel of a home with questionable walls and floors, for the duration of my first college semester and since only painfully slowly upgraded, was sufficiently impressed by the largeness of the warehouse like hub.

Beyond that, I could sense the chic atmosphere. Though that probably had to do with the chandeliers. Yes. Chandeliers.

There was more space than I was accustomed to seeing in nightclubs. Bodies were not writhing against one another as they slunk past complete strangers under wildly spinning lights. At Rush, this had seemed like some kind of kinesthetic poetry; the pull and push of life as it melded into rhythmic emoting and unashamed expression, but here, that sort of thing would appear grotesque and contemptuous.

All sin is seen in the light.

The clientele were obviously well groomed, if not absurdly rich. I knew without having to check the main doors that not everyone with and I.D. and $20 was permitted entrance to the club. This place was most likely invitation only.

My silver leggings and I felt rather underdressed.

Xion however, seemed utterly nonplussed by our threesome's motley attire, so I put it from my mind.

"C'mon, everyone's probably waiting upstairs."

I crossed my hands over my exposed stomach and looked after Xion, feeling 10 times better when I felt the warmth of Axel's arm against my back.

I turned up to offer him a smile and met with his lips.

The press of his lips was quick, so swift I lacked time to respond before his arm pressed gently against my back to encourage me forward.

I felt dazed as my stomach twisted pleasantly, knotting and unknotting with thrills of delight. I could do nothing to dash the wide grin off my face as we set off after Xion's receding figure.

I felt my walking was a great accomplishment considering that my brain had gone on vacation.

Love.

I was falling in love.

* * *

**Well, my other idea is coming along nicely... **

**I apologise for neglecting this...**

**I love you still. **

**Especially my reviewers c:**


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